by Jeff Alan, Contributing Writer
Of the many complexities that come with being married for a long time, one of them is learning how to be honest with your partner. But sparing their feelings with little white lies is often a practice that most relationships deal with every day. This issue is what drive the characters in the new Nicole Holofcener film, You Hurt My Feelings, starring Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Tobias Menzies, Michaela Watkins, and Arian Moayed.
Beth (Louis-Dreyfus) is a writer, and teacher of writing, who struggles to complete her second book, a fiction piece which follows the so-so success of her memoir. At the same time, her husband Don (Menzies), a full-time therapist, has difficulty with several of his patients who declare he is not good at his job, and claim they have not been helped the entire time they have been seeing him. Beth and Don seemingly have a loving, supportive, and honest relationship with each other, until the day that Beth and her sister Sarah (Watkins) attempt to surprise Don and Sarah’s husband Mark (Moayed) while out shopping, and overhear how Don does not enjoy Beth’s new book, despite his multiple declarations that he loves it and supports her writing.
This sends Beth into a tailspin as she questions her trust in her husband, even posing the question, “What else has he lied to me about?” This brings the up the heart of the issue of little white lies, what should be told honestly, and what should not be. They also have the added struggle of trying to keep their mid-20s son (Owen Teague) content while he goes through a tough breakup and labors on his own stage play, while working at a New York City weed dispensary. And while Beth and Don deal with their relationship, Sarah and Mark have difficulties in their own lives, where Sarah is dealing with stubborn clients in her career as an interior designer, and Mark struggles with his acting career, questioning if he is good enough to continue pursuing it.
Having not seen a Holofcener film before now (previous films being Enough Said with Louis-Dreyfus in 2013 and Walking & Talking in 1996), I am not sure if this is exactly what her style as a director is, but it is enjoyable to watch the way she sets a scene and lets this film in particular be driven by the characters and their choices. When you watch a film, you often can see if it is plot-driven or character-driven, and this is a character-driven story all the way. Being the writer as well, Holofcener has done what is so hard to do as a screenwriter, and gives so much depth to her characters. When you put outstanding actors like Louis-Dreyfus and Menzies in the main roles, their chemistry and interactions are electric and incredibly fun to watch!
I love a film like this, which you can watch before taking a step back and looking at your own relationship to see what white lies you tell your partner, and what they potentially tell you. You Hurt My Feelings hits on what it means to be honest, and what it means to lie to protect your partners feelings, and whether or not it’s right to do either one. It’s nice when we can have films that take a deeper dive into the parts of a relationship that are less talked about, and which show them in a way that can be relatable, insightful, and even humorous at times. Not to mention, being able to tell a good story like this in a quick hour-and-a-half runtime is no easy feat. Overall, Holofcener’s wonderful screenplay and direction, mixed with the stellar acting from the four main cast members, is wonderful to watch!
Score: 8/10
You Hurt My Feelings is currently playing in theaters
You can read more from Jeff Alan, or follow him on Instagram, Twitter, and Letterboxd