by Jeffery Rahming, Contributing Writer
Once again, Hollywood has released a reboot that no one asked for or needed. After already getting a dispensable reboot of House Party earlier this year, this time we’re treated to another subpar version of a ‘90s cult classic in White Men Can’t Jump.
White Men Can’t Jump stars Jack Harlow and Sinqua Walls (replacing Woody Harrelson and Wesley Snipes) as Jeremy and Kamal, two basketball players who used to have bright futures ahead of them before unfortunate events sent them down bad paths. Now that they’re both desperate for cash and hoping to regain some of their basketball cred back, the two very different men join forces to hustle their way into some money and prove they can still hoop.
It should be obvious that a two-hour movie based on street basketball is a concept that should’ve been abandoned in the ‘90s, yet here we are anyway. The original film isn’t exactly a masterpiece, but the new one only exacerbates the original’s flaws and adds new ones. Both are pretty loose and low-stakes plot-wise. But what holds the original up is its comedy and the charismatic performances of the lead actors, two things that the remake lacks, despite some valiant attempts. Harlow and Walls are capable enough actors, but unfortunately, they had massive shoes to fill. Compared to Snipes and Harrelson, who are arguably among the best actors of their generation, the new guys are paltry replacements. Besides the two leads, the film is stacked with recognizable names, from musicians like Vince Staples to basketball stars Blake Griffin and Tyler Herro. Everybody does a decent enough job acting, but the material just isn’t there writing-wise. Even the late Lance Reddick, who gives the best performance as Kamal’s supportive father, struggles with some of the clunky dialogue.
The weak comedy is the real problem, though. This film has a sense of humor that only appeals to residents of L.A. For the rest of us, the laughs are few and far between. If you’re tired of comedies quipping about kale salads, meditation, and juice diets, this will be a maddening experience. Outside of that, a good amount of the jokes are references to internet memes that are already outdated and, of course, racial humor, which is the most cringe-inducing part of the film. Not because it’s offensive; it just always sounds forced. In fact, trying not to be offensive is likely part of why they’re all so corny. They feel less like jokes and more like hack attempts at social commentary.
White Men Can’t Jump is a very paint-by-numbers movie, but worse than that, it’s completely unnecessary and evidence of an industry struggling to come up with fresh ideas. It only exists to provide some content for Hulu to put on its front page for two weeks before immediately fading into obscurity. It’s mindlessly entertaining enough for a weekend afternoon, but the problem with bad remakes is that there’s always a superior option that’s right there. There’s no point in watching this when a better version of the same story has been around for 30 years.
Score: 3/10
White Men Can’t Jump is currently streaming on Hulu
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