by Samuel Nichols, Contributing Writer
Look, here’s the truth: I saw trailers for What Happens Later for the last few weeks, and I’m trying to hit my goal of watching 200 new releases in 2023. So on my day off, when I had nothing better to until Season Two of Invincible premieres, I decided to head to the theater and see What Happens Later. Can’t let that AMC A-list subscription go to waste. So this was just a stepping stone to a larger milestone for me and a bit of a time waster. Nothing was expected. But if Meg Ryan and David Duchovny could convince a studio to give them a few million to make this, I can give this two hours of my time.
Quick plot summary: Willa (Ryan) and Bill (Duchovny) were married some time ago. But they have been divorced for a number of years and obviously have not spent time together. When they run into each other while looking for connecting flights home, they end up being stuck together in a small airport when said flights are indefinitely delayed due to a snow storm. Over the course of a night, they reminisce about the good times had had, rehash why they split, and bond over their mutual trauma related to what they’ve lost.
In no way do I want to disrespect these two actors. Duchovny was the lead on one of the most beloved shows of the last 20 years in X-files. When you include his time on Californication, he has a strong filmography. He’s made his bones and can spend time doing what he wants. Ryan was the sweetheart of the 1990s. Sleepless in Seattle, to When Harry Met Sally, to You’ve Got Mail is an iconic run. She’s in the hall of fame of rom-coms. These are two bonafide stars. Have I been kind enough to them? My producers have given me the all clear, so here goes:
These two absolutely suck in this movie. There’s no other way around it. Ryan overacts and overdelivers everything. She wants us to feel sympathetic for her, but I can’t feel bad for someone who is fake smiling through discussions about losing her family. Her erratic hand motions and dancing make the crap Matt LeBlanc and Courtney Cox used to do on Friends look choreographed. Here’s an idea: If you want people to think you’re dealing with an emotional crisis in your movie, maybe try to communicate emotion better than a community theater actor would.
Don’t think I’m letting Duchovny off the hook here. My guy couldn’t show an emotion if his life depended on it. Every line has the same sad sack delivery that it makes me wonder if he is reading EVERYTHING HE SAYS OFF A TELEPROMPTER! I wouldn’t bother to read the script for this movie either, but he got paid to be in it. He should have spent some time with it. Move your face a little, have a strain in your face, pretend to cry. DO SOMETHING!! But no. The man was here for a paycheck, so that’s the kind of performance we’re gonna get.
If these two had any chemistry it must have happened off camera. Because I’ll be damned if I saw it. Their “banter,” if you can call it that, is so staged that you would think they are just waiting for the other to finish what they are saying before interrupting them. I mean, if you are going for long-lost connection, you got the lost part right. I’m going to pin most of these complaints on Ryan not actually directing this. I know she is the listed director, but considering no one seems on point here, that’s on her for not giving herself or Duchovny any instruction on how to perform. If you are going to direct yourself, you have to have some accountability. It’s clear she had none.
The plot is as described, and every imaginable cliché you can think of is present. It’s boring. Every beat can be picked out a mile away. Again, I have to pin this on Ryan and the rest of the writing staff, as she was at the table when this story was being written.
Also, on a much smaller note, I thought this was going to be some kind of Christmas-themed movie because of it coming out at the beginning of November and the posters having snowflakes. So when I was deceived, and there was no message of holiday cheer or seasons greetings, my interest weened off of it a lot faster. Does that mean I’m biased and that this movie is worth your time and money? Absolutely not. It is still a travesty to man, and Ryan and Duchovny should feel embarrassed about their participation in it.
Rating: Hated It
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