by Alice-Ginevra Micheli, Contributing Writer
In recent memory there has been a lot of success for action flicks that care more for the fight choreography than the overall plot and character development. Some obvious ones that come to mind are themany John Wick movies, Atomic Blonde, The Raid 2,and taking on some cult fame of late is also the fairly recent adaptation of Dredd.
What these movies have in common — beside the genre — is the unabashed, expertly designed violence that brings glee to its viewing audience, while still harboring a compelling enough story. They tried to do this in The Princess as well; however, I can say with certainty, it did not have the result they hoped for.
The Princess follows Joey King’s titular princess as she fights her way through her kingdom overrun by enemies to save her family from her previously betrothed. That’s as much plot as I can give you, and not because I want to save it for when you experience it for yourself — the opposite, in fact. If I could give you more, I certainly would, but there’s literally nothing else there.
This is as thin as a plot can get. The characters serve a singular purpose — and have somehow less dimension because of it — and the story is so underdeveloped that this entire movie feels like the third act of something that was just forgotten. There is an attempt to beef it up some through the misguided uses of filler flashbacks, but even they seem so paint-by-numbers that you would think this entire thing belongs as a bargain shelf Disney Channel production, more than on the relatively quality-producing Hulu. Honestly, the writing and overall story feels as if it came from the mind of a 10-year-old who was playing pretend as a “Warrior Princess” that would save the day.
This would be all well and good if this film was actually catered to that type of audience. If this was made for children in order to show them a different kind of princess, resulting in a very simple, almost insultingly so, plot — then power to it, I say; why not? However, this argument is immediately shot down by the previously teased, and absolutely in-your-face gratuitous violence that is constantly present. I mean, you barely have time for two characters to exchange words before the next “Boss” comes along for them to defeat so that they can proceed to the next level. Don’t get me wrong, the fight scenes are probably the best part of the film by far, but that really isn’t saying much. Great stunts do not a great movie make, and I feel that the filmmakers got a little lost in the “cool” of it all to remember that they had to back it up with some substance.
The game metaphor earlier wasn’t a coincidence either, as another way to describe this viewing was like someone took all the cutscenes from a fantasy RPG, and slammed them together in between some combat missions. All of this is only exacerbated by the absolutely poor set design, VFX, and costuming. The swords look like foam, the bricks are obviously fake, and there is a moment where someone is set on fire, and it looked like something from the ’80s. In this day and age where we are surrounded by superhero movies, period pieces, and great practical effects making their comeback, there really is no excuse.
It may sound like I’m going quite hard on this movie, and I am, but this really hasn’t even been the worst viewing experience to come out of this year. Sure there’s a lot wrong with it, but as a watch it’s a pretty inoffensive one. If you don’t really care about seeing something that was made with heart, originality, or even some sort of passion, then you might as well give this a try. It’s a quick 90 minutes, and you won’t hate it.
No, I didn’t hate it. There just isn’t enough here for me to muster up that sort of emotion. This movie is average, it’s middling, it doesn’t really do much of anything beyond the fighting, and as a result it also won’t really affect sensibilities beyond those that don’t enjoy violence.
The moment you start this movie, you know exactly where it ends, and maybe that’s what you want. The performances are fine; I mean, these are great actors (Olga Kurylenko, Joey King, and Dominic Cooper to name a few) who are doing their best with what they have. However again, it’s not much.
If the script had perhaps undergone a few more drafts, and the budget had been a smidgen higher, this could have really been something special. To use an example from before, this could have been Atomic Blonde, but set in the Middle Ages. Instead it’s an unbalanced, lazy, complete waste of time of a movie that doesn’t deserve a second look on the streaming service it’s hosted on.
The best thing I can recommend here, is for us to wait 25 years, and maybe get a reboot that actually lives up to its potential. In the meantime, if you absolutely want to watch this, I get it, after all, I was still intrigued because I love anything remotely fantasy. You won’t have the worst time in the world, but to be honest, you’ll also barely remember your time watching it once the credits have rolled.
Score: 4/10
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