by Heath Lynch, Contributing Writer
Emotions, and Minions, and tornadoes, oh my! Blockbuster season is in full swing, and there’s a lot of fun to be had at the theater. I hope you’ve been enjoying the season as much as I have. Or, at least enjoying Twisters as much as I have, because that was pure popcorn fun! But we can’t get caught up in the now — this is a column about the past. As a reminder, with the Oscars: What If… series, we look at categories the Academy Awards should be honoring, but, for one reason or another, they aren’t, and we imagine what could’ve been regarding past Oscar seasons. Hopefully someday the Academy will do right by these creative talents, but until then we must do the Academy’s job for them. Let’s look back at the year the Euro became the official currency of the European Union, Tom Brady won his first of seven Super Bowls, the MTV reality TV show The Osbournes swept the nation, Eminem released the best-selling hip hop album of all time in The Eminem Show, Kelly Clarkson won the inaugural season of American Idol, and George W. Bush declared Iran, Iraq, and North Korea the “Axis of Evil.” It is time to examine the films of 2002, celebrated at the Oscars in 2003. Let’s see what could have been!
Best Stunts and Choreography
Given to the best achievement in dance, stunts, related performances, and overall choreography
And the nominees are… The Bourne Identity, Chicago, The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers, Minority Report, Spider-Man
And the winner is… The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers!
The temptation to be a troll and nominate Kung Pow: Enter the Fist was way too high. But in the name of maintaining some (the minimal amount) of integrity, I decided to quell my edgelord impulses. Although, If I’m being completely sincere, Jackass: The Movie almost scored a nomination here, and that genuinely would’ve been deserved.
But this is where Middle-earth dominance will truly commence. If I’m being honest, I feel like all I need to do is gesture toward Helm’s Deep, and that alone should be enough to convince 99% of people that The Two Towers is the rightful winner. Add in the fight with the Balrog, the assault on Isengard, and the skirmishes at Osgiliath and it’s a no brainer. The swordplay, the artistry with a bow and arrow, the brutality of the axe swings, and so much more make this one of the most large-scale, impressive displays of choreographed combat and stunt work ever put to film.
Best Performance by Voiceover or Motion Capture
Given to the best off screen voice performance, or on screen motion captured performance
And the nominees are… Tia Carrere as Nani Pelekai in Lilo & Stitch, Joseph Gordon-Levitt as Jim Hawkins in Treasure Planet, John Leguizamo as Sid in Ice Age, Andy Serkis as Gollum in The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers, Kiefer Sutherland as The Caller in Phone Booth
And the winner is… Andy Serkis as Gollum in The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers!
Yeah, Serkis wins. Duh. Next?
Okay, fine, I’ll talk about it, even though this is the possibly the biggest gimme category win in the history of this column outside of Titanic winning Best Popular Film back in ‘97.
Of course Andy Serkis was going to win this! I’m not taking crazy pills here. It was never a competition. Serkis’ masterful performance is the reason why I made this category Best Performance by Voiceover and Motion Capture back when I began this column. Because I knew this day was coming. The day when I could gush all over this performance, and this man, and how he singlehandedly changed the industry at large. From his expressive body language, to his unique vocal performance, and, most importantly, for his emotionally charged facial features and reactions, this performance is legendary. Peter Jackson saw Serkis in the audience room, saw how powerful the performance was, completely scrapped a computer animated character that was just going to have voiceover, and developed true motion capture technology as we know it today, just to capture everything Serkis was capable of doing. It simply cannot be stressed enough. It was a shift in cinema, in how we use technology, and how we tell stories. This was always going to be Serkis’s Oscar, and I’m damn proud to be presenting it to him since the Academy proper has yet to even nominate the poor man.
Justice for Sméagol.
Best Performance by an Ensemble Cast
Given to the best overall ensemble cast performance for film.
And the nominees are… Adaptation., Chicago, City of God, The Hours, The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers
And the winner is… Adaptation.!
This can often be one of the trickiest categories, because so much comes down to personal interpretation. Sometimes there’s films like Gangs of New York that feel like they’re more than worthy of a nomination, but maybe there’s one Cameron Diaz holding it back. Then there’s other films where you question what qualifies as an ensemble. Does Road to Perdition count? It really only follows two characters, with side characters jumping in and out of the narrative. Then there’s movies like Far From Heaven, where there’s a trio of characters, but not much outside of that to warrant the ensemble label. For 2002, I’m twisting the conditions, but I think it works.
That’s because, although Adaptation. only has three central performances, they encompass four distinct characters, as Nic Cage double dips by playing twins. Then, to top it all off, all four characters are interwoven in one of the wildest third act finales you’ll ever see, and it’s a blast. Charlie Kaufman’s bizarre yet fascinating, meta film about the writing process is an absolute masterpiece, and these central performances are a big reason why. Brilliantly witty and hysterical, geniusly self-aware, and surprisingly emotionally deep with the variety of character archetypes (impressively being performed against type for these actors), this is an all-around home run. Cage playing multiple characters is easily enough to put Adaptation. on your radar, but once you add Meryl Streep and Chris Cooper to the fold, for me it becomes no contest.
Best Directorial Debut
Given to the best achievement in direction by a debut directing talent for film.
And the nominees are… George Clooney for Confessions of a Dangerous Mind, John Lee Hancock for The Rookie, Rob Marshall for Chicago, Chris Sanders and Dean DeBlois for Lilo & Stitch, Denzel Washington for Antwone Fisher
And the winner is… Rob Marshall for Chicago!
Now, this one could be considered a bit controversial. Marshall was credited as the director of a television film adaptation of Annie back in ‘99 for ABC (read: Disney), but that was essentially a recording of a stage performance, starring the wonderful Kathy Bates as Miss Hannigan. Seeing as it was a stage recording which never saw a theatrical release (disqualifying it for Oscars contention), and even Wikipedia lists Chicago as Marshall’s directorial debut, we’re going to say Chicago counts.
So with controversy being sidestepped, it’s time to coronate Marshall with an Oscar for his fine work with this beloved musical. Fine work that garnered him a nomination for Best Director, outright, at the Oscars, and that won Best Picture. It’s kinda hard to argue against such accolades, especially when you examine the film itself. From juggling and maintaining big names and strong personalities in his debut effort, to pulling excellent performances from his cast, and managing a unique style to his filmmaking that allows the story to both be grounded and live in heightened reality, is quite impressive. From dutch angles, to passionate character moments, and powerful musical numbers, this movie soars, and Marshall’s direction is a big key to that success. He’s more than deserving of this win.
Best Popular Film
Given to the best audience supported motion picture that earned a spot as one of the top 25 box office films of the year.
And the nominees are… Catch Me if You Can, Chicago, The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers, Signs, Spider-Man
And the winner is… The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers!
Alright, now this one is damn close. You could make really strong arguments for several of these nominees. There are massive box office draws — films that had large scale pop culture impact and a lot of awards accolades to go around. But I’m going to give the gold to The Two Towers. Now, to defend…
While Spider-Man may have taken the domestic box office crown back in ‘02 with its impressive haul of $403.7 million (and the, at the time, world record for best opening weekend of all-time), The Two Towers wasn’t far behind. It brought in $339.8 million. Enough for second place. However, when we pull back, we see that The Two Towers brought home a staggering $936.7 million worldwide, making it number one globally. Spider-Man, by comparison, drops to number three with $825.8 million, over $100 million less. No small margin. Our other candidates? Well, when it comes to box office earnings, they don’t really compare. And while Spidey was most definitely a cultural hit, and still a beloved part of pop culture today, so was (and is) The Lord of the Rings. People will cosplay as Spider-Man, but you’ll also see your fair share of Gandalfs, Leoglases, and Aragorns, never mind the Hobbits as well. We may have r/raimimemes, but we also have r/lotrmemes. These are two box office champs, two cultural icons, duking it out and throwing haymakers.
But it’s in the accolades where The Two Towers begins to run away with things. Because while our favorite web-slinger may have seen some award love, it’s just not the same. Spider-Man was nominated for just two Oscars, and didn’t win either one. In fact, the very two Spider-Man was nominated for, Sound Editing and Visual Effects, were won by The Two Towers. The Two Towers was actually nominated for six Oscars, including Best Picture. This is by far and away a more commendable accomplishment. But that’s where competition like Chicago rears its head. The Windy City musical garnered an impressive 13 nominations this year, more than any other film. As well, it took home six wins, double that of the next closest film, and that included the coveted win for Best Picture. If we’re going off awards pedigree, Chicago is the easy favorite.
But this isn’t Best Film, or Most Popular Film, it’s the combination. Best Popular Film. And when we combine these elements, well, this is where The Lord of the Rings stands tall. Because it’s the king of the box office, proving audiences loved it. It was more popular than anything else. And, in terms of Best, well, only The Pianist and Chicago performed better. But The Pianist isn’t nominated (while it was a box office success, especially for a movie regarding such hard-hitting subject matter, it’s nowhere close to the conversation compared to these other nominations), and Chicago barely earned half the box office of Lord of the Rings. That’s just domestic. The truckloads of chasm present an even wider chasm when considering worldwide gross. So for the undeniable and impactful combination of quality and popularity, The Two Towers is our big winner for Best Popular Film. Peter Jackson, come one down one last time…
Thanks for joining me on another trip down memory lane to see what could’ve been! We got to reminisce about the cinematic debut of our friendly neighborhood Spider-Man, one of the most unique films ever made about writer’s block and the screenwriting process, and the creature Gollum sneaking his way into our hearts. Be sure to come back next month when we look at films like Finding Nemo, Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl, and The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King for the Oscars of 2004, celebrating the films of 2003!
You can read more from Heath Lynch, and follow him on Letterboxd