By Devan Meyer
We live in an era of Hollywood where every franchise must be bigger. Every smash hit must have a sequel, every series must have a spin-off, every saga must become a universe. That is the primary goal of MIB: International, a movie so open about how much of a corporate-mandated cash-grab it is, the tagline on the poster is: “The Universe is Expanding.”
There is nothing wrong with a lucrative franchise expanding its horizons. Go as far back as the 1970s to find hit television sitcom All in the Family spun off into the equally successful primetime comedy The Jeffersons. In fact, spin-offs of TV shows and films can be beneficial in fleshing out or expanding upon characters and aspects of a world we don’t have the chance to see as much of in the main series.
What makes MIB: International so exasperating is how little it adds to the universe in any substantial fashion. It’s a creatively bankrupt retread of everything you’ve seen before in this franchise, so stuck in the past you might as well be watching a “greatest hits” of the original MIB trilogy with different actors. Unlike every other critic who feels obligated to go for the easy joke of having this latest installment erased from their memory by the signature MIB Neuralyzer, this is such a forgettable, mind-numbing movie on its own that I wouldn’t need one.
Directed by F. Gary Gray, whose movies are always slick and stylish even when they aren’t good, MIB: International may be Gray at his most reigned in. Even Be Cool had a coolness factor. This feels like a group of studio execs rummaging through the belongings of Barry Sonnenfeld trying to figure out how to make a blockbuster as they go.
Tessa Thompson and Chris Hemsworth reunite for MIB: International, following their popular duo in Thor: Ragnarok. Here, Thompson takes the lead, a vaguely charming role with no real personality or depth. Hemsworth, as the “vaguely inept, arrogant, and reckless” (as described by Thompson’s character) veteran agent, is him at his most unpleasant; taking the dry comedic stylings that gave his performance in the Thorfilms some variety and transforming him into an irresponsible heartless meathead who only cares about himself. You don’t just dislike him, you actively root against him throughout this movie. I don’t feel this comes down to his performance—he’s just reading words off a page, and he does it as suave as possible—but the writing.
The screenplay by Iron Manand Transformers: The Last Knight scribes Art Marcum and Matt Holloway is flat, lifeless, and repetitive, featuring crass, unoriginal gags and scenes playing out devoid of an in-movie logic.
It’s a stark contrast to the original MIB from 1997, at the time a fresh mash-up of the gritty buddy cop genre and goofy 1950s alien invasion movies. The sharp social commentary and deft tonal shifts of the original movie is lost in MIB: International, in its place a shoehorned reference to Ellis Island and an empty cavity where its heart should be.
MIB: International is a movie that knows it’s selling out, doesn’t care, and refuses to strive for more. So, it’s aggressively mediocre, in the worst way possible, in which it just rides the line between passable and unwatchable. If I’m being honest, I’d rather it be the most incompetent blockbuster I’ve ever seen than the most forgettable one I saw this week, because at least I’d remember it and could recommend it.
Unfortunately, it’s $110 Million studio dollars spent on a nice globe-trotting vacation and a lot of neon lighting.
Grade: D