by Nick Ferro, Contributing Writer
Last night, after months of waiting, it was time to play the music. It was time to dim the lights. I gathered my family to get things started because it was Muppets Haunted Mansion night! On Friday, October eighth, Disney+ released this 50 minute, made-for-TV-movie starring Gonzo, Pepe, and the rest of the Muppet gang. The moment I heard that they were mashing together two of my favorite Disney-owned properties, I was incredibly excited. To say that I am a huge Haunted Mansion fan would be an understatement (he typed while wearing his Haunted Mansion shirt and drinking coffee from his Haunted Mansion mug). Ever since I was six years old and I rode the ride in Disney World for the first time, the Haunted Mansion has been my favorite theme park ride. I have the theme song downloaded on my phone and most of the script to the ride memorized. As soon as Disney comes to their senses that they should sell “Grim Grinning Ghosts” singing bust Halloween decorations (for me to pay a stupid amount of money for), I will have those too! For me, using the Haunted Mansion as the setting for any movie or property is a no-brainer. So, when I heard that the Muppets were going to be paying it a visit, I was doubly excited.
But then I got to thinking, Disney has had a tough time figuring out how to make the Muppets good. They have had some hits since acquiring them in 2004, but for the most part have completely missed the mark or left them on the shelf. The Haunted Mansion with Eddie Murphy didn’t do them any favors either. But I put those thoughts aside and decided that this would be a guaranteed home run and they would have to really try hard to mess up this concept. Or would they?? DUN, DUN, DUUUUUHHH! Dun, dun. (Unlike the movie, I’m gonna only do that joke once).
Having survived many daredevil performances, Gonzo the Great wants to be remembered like his favorite magician, The Great MacGuffin. In order to do this, he must spend a night in the mansion that MacGuffin disappeared in years ago. But as he soon finds out, if he can’t conquer his greatest fear, he will be trapped in this haunted mansion forever! The movie has three musical numbers, a bevy of celebrity cameos, and enough easter eggs to fill a graveyard — everything you would hope to be present in a movie combining these two big properties.
One thing I liked about the movie was how they used the elements of the ride to structure the movie. When you get in line for the ride, you can see tombstones with funny puns and jokes on them, and the movie’s first song is set in the graveyard and has lyrics that consist of silly jokes and puns set to music with celebrity cameos. The movie progresses through the mansion in a similar manner. They meet the “ghost host,” who takes them into the stretching room where the iconic paintings have been “Muppet-ized.” Miss Piggy is Madame Leota in the room with the floating instruments, only these instruments have Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem attached to them. And you get to visit the ballroom where they turn all the fun effects of the ride into sight gags in the movie, as well as another musical number. From there, Pepe and Gonzo split up so Gonzo can face his fears and Pepe can take us to the final part of the ride: the bride’s attic where we get our third musical number. Overall, they do a great job hitting the key elements of the ride and I liked how they incorporated all the memorable moments. Unfortunately, that’s all I liked about this movie.
There were several elements missing that the movie would have needed to make it watchable, mainly an interesting story, humor, and heart. It has some humor, but that’s about it. The movie started strong with some jokes that made me chuckle, especially one with the Swedish Chef trying to carve pumpkins. But it fell flat very quickly with maybe a laugh or two throughout the whole movie. The story was paper thin and when they focused on it, rather than taking us through the mansion, it stopped the movie dead. Gonzo and Pepe are funny characters, especially when they are given good material, but as a duo I didn’t think they worked as well. Their personalities are too similar in a chaotic neutral sort of way. If you are going to take a character who isn’t scared of anything, you need a character to play off him that fears everything. A pairing like Gonzo and Rizzo would have fit that archetype well as they are two characters whose chemistry together is undeniable. I can understand wanting to change it up and try something new, but I felt that like many of the other characters, Pepe was misused.
The celebrity cameos were fine, but most of them were given very little to do other than wave, react, and maybe say a brief line. Taraji P. Henson, however, steals the show by being very aware that you’re supposed to have fun while acting with the Muppets, and that is what she is clearly doing. The problem with her scenes is that they just weren’t very funny. She did her best to elevate the material, but you can’t really elevate what isn’t there from the start. I especially feel bad for Will Arnett, who has glowing record when it comes to comedy. It felt like he was told to not be funny at all, as the ghost host. He does “menacing” well, but I would have preferred he make me laugh. I mean, he is revealed to be the magician at the end, and they don’t even give us “trick vs. illusion” reference. Pepe even sets him up by asking him to do a trick! It was right there! SAY ILLUSION!! “A trick is something a who-“… Sorry, I lost myself there, but you see my point. The movie was all about references and Easter eggs and they can’t even hit the easy lobs over the plate.
Watching Muppet Haunted Mansion just brings up the question again: “Why can’t Disney get the Muppets right?” What is the solution? What made the Muppets popular in the first place? The Muppet Show was a variety show like SNL. Each episode, they got one celebrity to stop by and perform with them while they did short sketches, musical numbers, and bits. Most of the time, the celebrities played the straight man to the zany humor or were the mark of several gags. The sketches were short, to the point, and usually delightfully absurd. When they branched into movies, they had a ton of heart as well as the same combo of bad puns, meta humor, and absurdist humor. Then in the ’90s they did a few parody movies which were hits and gave us two of their best in Muppets: Treasure Island and A Muppet Christmas Carol. The reboot in 2011 worked because it took all these elements, combined with the writing talent of Jason Segel (who clearly understood the Muppet’s style), a healthy dose of nostalgia, and more of a focus on the meta humor. Muppets Most Wanted leaned hard into the absurd, but unfortunately the story and plot were a bit lacking. They came close to getting the Muppets right with the short-lived show on ABC, but I think they failed because they tried to make the Muppets too crude with adult humor, and part of their charm is their ability to appeal to all ages. The one, true, long-running hit they have is their Muppet Babies cartoon on Disney Junior. It’s a fantastic reboot and I love watching it with my kids. Great music, fun stories, good lessons, and its funny.
In my opinion, there are several things they can do to get back to what works. One thing is to stop cramming too many celebrity cameos into each project. I know everyone in Hollywood jumps at the chance to work with the Muppets, but it’s okay to use them sparingly. Second, they should focus on getting comedy writers who understand the absurdist humor that makes the Muppets great. I look at shows like Star Trek: Lower Decks, What We Do in the Shadows, and Ted Lasso and see that its possible to do silly jokes, ridiculous humor, and compelling story successfully. Phil Lord and Christopher Miller gave us The Lego Movie and Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs, both of which are very Muppet adjacent with their brand of humor. There are people out there who get the Muppets; let them give it a try! At the very least, go back to parody movies. Disney now owns Marvel, Star Wars, and all of Fox’s movie catalogue. How fun would Muppet: Die Hard be to watch? Or Muppets Princess Bride? The internet is constantly throwing out the “replace the cast of a movie with Muppets and keep one actor” challenge and the ideas that come out of that are beautiful gifts. Can I interest you in Muppet Avengers where Sam Jackson is the only human? **Looks directly into the camera** Dear Disney, I need you to listen to your Uncle Nick now and focus up: Please, please, please, get your act together and start putting out good Muppets content! They are so versatile! You had an A+ idea with Muppet Haunted Mansion, but you got complacent. Just because it’s on D+ doesn’t mean that’s the amount of effort it deserved.
Grade: D+
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