by Scott Batchelor, Contributing Writer
Dating in the 21st century has to be difficult. You can have the most spectacular date, and then just never hear from the other person again. They don’t have to give you an explanation or reasoning; they are just gone from your life forever. You, my friend, have been ghosted. But what if you could find the person who ghosted you? What if you tracked that person on the other side of the planet? Romantic or stalker? If you are in an action rom-com, it’s a fun idea, but only if you actually focus on the premise. Sadly, Ghosted only had a premise and not a script to surround it.
Chris Evans plays Cole, a hopeless romantic farmer who is known to rush his relationships, and is often broken up with for being too clingy. He doesn’t help himself to temper this character trait when he tracks Ana de Armas’ Sadie to London after she stops responding to his texts. Unfortunately for Cole, he was better off taking the “L” than following his heart.
We start off fast. Our two leads get a bit of backstory about what is going to drive them throughout the story before meeting at a farmers market. They start off flirting a bit before delving into arguing about what it takes to keep a plant alive. Cole criticizes Sadie for not being caring enough, but still somehow is able to show he is charming enough to give him a chance on a date.
The date is of course cute, and it shows off that these two clearly like each other, while setting up how Cole is able to track Sadie later. He is seen as absent-minded and loses his personal belongings, so he puts Tile-like trackers on them so he can keep track of his money box, keys, and even his inhaler. Of course, once the tracker MacGuffin is used, the character somehow doesn’t need this trait anymore, so it is dropped. Without it, he becomes a glorified Captain America without super soldier serum.
The date ends with what most people hope to get at the end of a date. Love stricken, Cole takes a selfie with a sleeping Sadie to show he really doesn’t know boundaries. After the two separate, we focus on Cole and his family. His parents are played by great character actors Tate Donovan and Amy Sedaris, who use every bit of their scenes to steal the show, along with Cole’s sister Mattie (Lizze Broadway).
The family dynamic is one of the great selling points for Cole’s character. He is called out for his actions throughout the movie. His sister, a cab driver, and Sadie herself, all take him to task for “stalking.” But his mom and dad champion this type of behavior. He is told he is making poor choices, but because he has people telling him what he wants to hear, he ignores all other advice.
It does not take long for Cole to get wrapped up in the plot of the film, but the story beats start down the path of predictableness of mistaken spy identity. The evil organization is after a bio weapon, and believes farmer Cole to be “The Taxman.” Sadie breaks up the torture before it begins killing all the bad guys, including the best cameo in the movie. Now that Cole has finally tracked down the love of his life (he thought), Sadie reveals she hasn’t responded because she is a CIA operative… and also he is too clingy.
What follows is the point where you are either onboard with this movie, or you need to get off. The first big action set piece is akin to a Mission Impossible or a Dwayne Johnson-led action movie. It is a chase scene full of Mad Max-type car leaping as Sadie drives a bus through the mountains of Pakistan, while Cole tries to fend off the baddies. The action is not grounded in anything but entertainment — you just have to go along with it. If you want to just shut off your brain and watch the pretty choreography, that is what you are getting.
Halfway through the movie, we are firmly in spy thriller instead of rom-com, and the main antagonist is revealed to be Adrien Brody playing Leveque, who could honestly have been played by just anyone, man, woman, chatbot. Actually, a chatbot might have been able to be refined and write someone more interesting. Leveque is as generic as they come. His motivation is — get this — money! It is just a subsection of what plagues this movie during its two-hour runtime.
After the initial premise gets going, you can call out almost exactly how the rest of the movie is going to play out. It is a generic script hidden behind entertaining actors and fun ideas for action scenes. There is a small bit of cameo fun, where we are introduced to bounty hunters for quick hits, played by recognizable faces that allow the audience to “DiCaprio point” at the screen.
If there is one way to fix this film, it is the runtime. The fun is the mistaken identity and the chemistry between Evans and de Armas, but the seams start to come undone as the minutes tick away. One action set piece is yadda yadda-d, and we are just shown that everything turns out alright. There is a “reveal” at the end of the second act that does not hit the way it is probably hoping for, because there is no reason for it — it’s not a twist, double turn, or anything that really affects the story. The main conflict of Cole either being stalker-ish or romantic is already enough to get someone interested. Focus on the fun of what happens when someone doesn’t know how to take being ghosted, and you create a much more unique movie with a more manageable run time. But even though this movie has its issues, it is not enough to make it a dud.
Ghosted is a very middle-of-the-road story, but when it finds its footing, it becomes well worth the watch. Much like summer blockbusters, you are sitting down to watch an action movie premiering on Apple+. What is it you are expecting to get out of this experience? I got a silly premise that is not fully explored, with some great actors and well-put-together action scenes. The climax’s action is truly unique, and it does make the long wait time just a bit more manageable as we crawl to the end. If you are expecting a movie of the year candidate, reevaluate why you watch movies. If you want something fun to watch on a lazy weekend afternoon, don’t ignore Ghosted
Score: 7/10
Ghosted is currently streaming on Apple TV+
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