by Jake Bourgeois, Contributing Writer

Normally, a first gut reaction isn’t always the best way to determine whether you should go out to the theater to catch a movie. 

But there are exceptions. 

I would submit Cocaine Bear as one such exception. 

Taking inspiration from a real bear that died after ingesting a duffel bag full of cocaine dropped from an overloaded plane by a drug smuggler, who died due to a faulty parachute in 1985, it takes the real premise and cranks the absurdity up to 11. It’s a narrative worthy of a Tony Montana mountain of white powder, as tourists, hooky-playing school kids, law enforcement, park officials, and drug dealers converge on a national park and the aptly named Blood Mountain as the coked-up creature goes on a murderous rampage in search of his next fix. 

As someone whose sense of humor was largely formed by a radio show which made highlighting wild news stories like this a part of what they did, my first reaction after hearing about this Elizabeth Banks-helmed project was, “I’m in.” As I try to examine my own personal biases and how they’re impacting how I feel about my viewing experience, it’s undeniable that my buy-in to the premise and the marketing, which seemed to know how ridiculous it is, is doing a lot of the heavy lifting here. It’s the major the reason I can walk away saying I had a good time, despite some glaring flaws. I don’t want to be so reductive as to say it’s a turn-your-brain-off type of movie, but I do think it’s one where you have to know your own preferences, and if the premise is one that you’re willing to roll with. 

The project is the baby of Banks, who serves as both the film’s director and one of its producers (along with Phil Lord and Chris Miller, among others). Having not seen her two previous full-length feature efforts (Pitch Perfect 2 and Charlie’s Angels), I was impressed by some of the directing choices here. There’s a fun B movie feel that works so well with the exaggerated nature of the premise, with some campy fun and goofy gore. Banks also slides in some fun homages to slasher films with our black bear serving in the role of the slasher, à la the likes of Freddie Krueger. That’s when it’s at its best. My personal favorite touch may be the opening and closing text that seems to add a fake seriousness to proceedings. It’s just chef’s kiss. 

Where I found myself let down the most was with the writing. The script was penned by Jimmy Warden, whose other feature film writing credit was the disappointing sequel The Babysitter: Killer Queen. While the B movie feel mentioned earlier does work in parts, the pure amount of cliché in the script does start to become grating. The lines are largely empty, and trite and somehow the 95-minute runtime manages to feel too busy with the pure number of storylines that converge on the park. The cast includes some inspired casting choices, like Margo Martindale as a park ranger, O’Shea Jackson Jr. as a drug dealer, and Ray Liotta in one of his final roles, fittingly playing a gangster. Some storylines work well enough, while others (like some awkwardly old-looking hooligans), most certainly do not. 

Circling back to my original thesis, I really don’t think you have to overthink this one. 

If, like me, you were excited about what it promised, I think there’s enough of a fleeting high you can get from Cocaine Bear to make the experience worth your while. 

However, if you found yourself rolling your eyes at the project’s announcement or the trailer, don’t let your friends pressure you into taking the trip with them by telling you, “Everyone’s doing it!” or “It’ll be fun!” Your best course of action is to stick to your convictions and just say no. 

Score: 6/10

Cocaine Bear is currently playing in theaters


You can read more from Jake Bourgeois, and follow him on Twitter and Letterboxd