by Shane Conto, Staff Writer

What is more terrifying than math? If you ask a lot of people, math might be terrifying to them. But Shudder goes one step further with their latest streaming film, The Cellar. A family moves into a new house. Guess what? It is creepy and haunted in some way! But how does that involve math? The haunting stems from obscure mathematical operations that seem so oddly placed in the film. Once the daughter disappears and the mother feels shame for her role, she begins a search for what has taken her daughter. But let’s not forget that there is still math — counting, specifically — involved. At the core of it, this is some standard affair. 

Does writer-director Brendan Muldowney offer up some impressive filmmaking to elevate this strange concept and the budget? First off, the storytelling is a bit iffy and shaky. The narrative is loose and only holds together with a few cliché beats, including finding a college professor who is an expert on this obscure math and demon going on. The narrative is full of the cheesiest horror movie cliches that you can possibly come up with. It takes the starch out of the scares and thrills. There is a whole section of the film where the main character goes to a college to speak with an “expert.” This is one of the most tired clichés in horror and just feels forced and bogged down by exposition. There is some quality music (kudos to Stephen McKeon for crafting a strong score), but the issue is how loud and obnoxious it is. The mixing is terrible, which makes the music unbearable to sit through… especially when the film leans on auditory jump scares regularly. 

There have to be some scenes that are legitimately scary, right? The film does indeed have its moments. One of the running themes is the idea of stairs and how many of them are there. This makes for quite the unnerving reveal early on where the daughter initially disappears. The film leans on this theme multiple times, but it is one of the most effective, even leading into the horrific and dour final reveal. It also takes its time in revealing the visuals for its evil entity, which builds some solid suspense and anticipation. When it is finally revealed, it is quite shocking. If it wasn’t for the shoestring budget, the final act might have been even scarier. The world that our characters are transported to is unnerving, but does look a tad cheesy from a lack of effective visual effects. 

Do the actors do their part in making the audience feel invested in this missing child horror story? Do you remember The Girl Next Door? If so, Elisha Cuthbert will be a pleasant surprise as the lead. Her performance is serviceable, but lacks definable personality or charisma. She does the work that is asked of her, but that is about it. No one else really stands out, nor are their characters written with enough depth to offer up to the cast. They play the stereotypical roles with just enough energy to get the audience through the film but nothing more. 

Can Shudder boast another win for their streaming catalog? Not so much. For those horror fans reading, there are some solid scares and elements that might pique your interest. But for those who want more than just what you expect from a horror flick, there might not be enough to sway you. The Cellar feels like just another body filling out the growing streaming service.

Score: 4/10

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