by Jeff Alan, Contributing Writer
Love Hurts wants to be a rollercoaster full of heart, action, and comedy, but it mostly feels like waiting in line for a ride that never quite takes off. Being the directorial debut of Jonathan Eusebio, Love Hurts gives Hollywood favorite and lovable Everything Everywhere All at Once star Ke Huy Quan a vehicle to lead and lend his martial arts expertise in, sharing the screen with a talented team consisting of the lovely and talented supporting cast.
The film follows Marvin Gable (Quan), a successful realtor in the Milwaukee area with a snarky assistant, Ashley (Lio Tipton), and a slightly eccentric employer (Sean Astin). Marvin has worked hard for the life he has, and it isn’t until he is paid an unexpected visit by a contract killer known as The Raven (Mustafa Shakir) that it is revealed that Marvin’s life isn’t as perfect as it seems. Many years ago, before changing directions in life, Marvin worked for his brother Knuckles’ (Daniel Wu) crime syndicate as a fixer, often taking care of problems with his fist,s and doing the bidding for the organization. But on his last assignment, Marvin was supposed to eliminate a woman he secretly pined for, Rose (Ariana DeBose), yet he spares her life and gets out of the family business for good. However, he finds out that Rose has sought revenge on Knuckles, who now knows Marvin never earned his clean break, provoking Knuckles to send a slew of hitmen after both Marvin and Rose.
In this very fast, 83-minute film, Quan is tasked with carrying action and comedy throughout, and while he ultimately does a serviceable job, it by no means brings the movie to any high standard. Quan is likable and skilled at the action we are familiar with him doing by now, but the movie surrounding him is just lackluster and uninteresting. DeBose is just as likable and fun, and her motivations are clear, but the plan she concocts to get back at Knuckles is briefly explained and half-baked, leaving me not only wishing the movie would have tacked on more time to explain it, but also wishing the plan was just smarter.
Marvin also has unrequited feelings for Rose, and it’s incredibly awkward, not just because DeBose is nearly half of Quan’s age, but because the film speeds way too quickly over their connection, and we get no sense of why we should care that Marvin has feelings for Rose. But I guess the film had to fit this story in the theme of Valentine’s Day, and this was the forced result.
The surrounding cast is not exactly turning in A+ performances either. Astin is only in the movie for a few short stretches, playing a Southern real estate tycoon in Wisconsin. It’s fun to see two Goonies reunited, but not enough to make me gush. Wu has moments where he does a fine job, but there are some truly questionable performances come from Tipton, André Eriksen, and Marshawn Lynch. Tipton’s character makes a complete turnaround which feels bafflingly forced, and Lynch and Eriksen try desperately to be comedic relief, but are ultimately even less funny, or just downright annoying at times. Even Rhys Darby is here — I normally love to see him, but even he can’t save my interest in the film, with his small role that isn’t fun or funny at all. And all that’s not to mention a cameo by Property Brother Drew Scott which is entirely unnecessary.
The biggest highlight of the film by far is it action sequences and stunt work. Eusebio has extensive done stunt work in the past, and when it comes to the fight coordination and choreography, the film shines. There are maybe three major action pieces that are well executed, and Quan and Eusebio deserve praise for them. But while the action set pieces are well done, it’s not enough to save the whole film from being at the bottom of the stack.
It’s hard going into a movie that has some talented people in it and feeling let down by it completely. I think Quan and even Eusebio have bigger things ahead of them, because they both definitely have the talent for it, but Love Hurts feels like a project with very little passion in it. It makes me think it was accepted for the paycheck or the experience, rather than for the love of making something with substance. Some movies give you a warm, fuzzy feeling when you leave it — Love Hurts mostly just left me wondering what went wrong.
Rating: Didn’t Like It
Love Hurts is currently playing in theaters
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