by Nick Ferro, Contributing Writer

As I sit here, once again, wearing my Haunted Mansion t-shirt, drinking coffee from my Haunted Mansion mug, compiling my thoughts and feelings of the new Haunted Mansion movie, I can’t help but think I may be a little biased. Even with the disastrous results of the 2003 Eddie Murphy-led version, I was incredibly excited for Disney to make another attempt to bring the grim, grinning ghosts to the big screen. In 2021 if you read my review of Muppets Haunted Mansion, you’ll know that the Haunted Mansion is my favorite Disney attraction of all time, and that attempt at adapting the story to the screen didn’t win any points in my book. I am not one for horror or scary things, so the relative safety of a Disney ride, combined with “scares,” allows me to enjoy an aspect of entertainment that I usually avoid. Plus, there is something whimsical about a ride that has some backstory to it involving 999 happy haunts. There is an element of world building that you don’t often see in theme park rides, which should lend itself quite well to a film medium. So watch your step inside the doom-buggy, and let me be your ghost host, as I am dying to tell you if this movie is full of spirit, or rather Booring. (I apologize for that last one…)

When Gabbie (Rosario Dawson) and her young son Travis (Chase Dillon) move from New York to a decrepit mansion in Louisiana, they quickly learn that anyone who steps foot in the manor can’t leave without taking one of the mansion’s ghosts home with them. Upon discovering this, they return to the mansion and conscript all types of paranormal investigators and eliminators to try and rid their new home of the materializing creepy creeps. Among those hired are a priest, Father Kent (Owen Wilson), a medium, Harriet (Tiffany Haddish), Professor Bruce Davis (Danny DeVito), and the movie’s protagonist Ben (LaKeith Stanfield), a quantum physicist who has a vested interest in proving ghosts exist. Once they realize their plight, they agree to work together to avoid be haunted for the rest of their lives. However, there is something strange about these ghouls. Most of them do not appear to be malevolent, and at times it seems as though they are themselves scared of something much darker. The team must not only determine how to save themselves but also help save the ghosts too. 

Right off the top, Stanfield brings two things to the proceedings: First, he shows that he is one of the most talented actors we have working today, as he delivers a performance that makes his fellow award-worthy cast members look like amateurs, and second, his character is the reason they made this movie. Not only is Ben completely fleshed-out in ways that are authentic and relatable, but also, he makes for a great protagonist of an adventure movie. Stanfield takes what was on the page and turns it into an awards-worthy performance that was not only funny, but had me in tears at one point. I assure you, there was absolutely no reason for Stanfield to go this hard at all. Not to get into my negatives early, but the rest of the movie in no way deserved such a wonderful performance, and it should be thanking him for keeping it out of the dumpster. The rest of the performances are also good to great, in varying degrees; however, the only other standout worth noting is Chase Dillon. As a relative newcomer to the industry, he made a big impression by standing out among this star-studded cast, but he also goes toe-to-toe with Stanfield, and holds his own. Dillon also had the best joke delivery success rate in the film. I can’t remember a single moment when his delivery failed to produce a laugh. When Haddish, Wilson, and DeVito are your co-stars, it’s very impressive to outshine them with humor. 

My next big praise is the production and set design. I was very impressed with the amount of detail and practical sets that are used throughout, and they all have a great deal of care put into evoking elements of the ride. The design of the ghosts is also something that I enjoyed, along with the visual effects. There is something fun about the shade of blue or the purples and greens used throughout the film to signify something spooky or outline of a ghost. And it is quite refreshing to see a movie where the effects are given the time to look finished. 

Another element I appreciate is when a movie can do a reference to its source material without shining a spotlight on it and shout at the audience, “DO YOU GET IT?!” I am happy to say that Haunted Mansion achieved that here. The only time there is an overt reference is when they turned the stretching room into an action sequence, which feels earned, and is fun. However, on the flip side, I think the filmmakers may have been a little too reserved by trying not to incorporate elements of the ride into the movie. There are several moments where I was surprised that they ignore a chance for a reference that would have been fun. I was also incredibly disappointed to learn that at the end we didn’t get a, “hurry back, hurry baaaaack,” to conclude the film as a way to mimic how the ride concludes. I appreciate that this movie doesn’t have an unnecessary end credit scene, but something small like that could have been tossed in for those willing to stick it out to the end of the credits. 

Unfortunately, for all the aforementioned good moments Haunted Mansion provides, it is riddled with distractions, from bad jokes to weirdly framed shots that kept me from enjoying it completely. For one, I was never bought in on this group of characters. By the end, the movie wants you to see them as some type of “found family,” but I never bought into it at all. There is something ineffable that really keeps them from being a cohesive ensemble. I think perhaps part of it was how their different comedy styles clash. Haddish brings her standard modern zaniness, DeVito brings his weird goofball character, and Wilson is his standard aloof, go-with-the-flow type of character. Wilson’s character in particular feels off from the get-go, and it becomes very obvious to anyone who has seen a movie before as to why. Haddish does have a few comedic moments I enjoyed, but she is the one character who throws so many jokes at the wall with such a low success rate. 

I think the biggest missed opportunity comes in the form of Wilson’s Father Kent character. Wilson and Stanfield are set up at the beginning almost as though they would be co-leads, and the film quickly gets away from that until the final moment before the climax. I almost wonder if the onscreen chemistry just wasn’t there, and rewrites were done — I really think the script should have made them longtime friends, rather than strangers. This may have been a little clichéd, having the best friend of the main character being the comic relief dope, but when they have their moment at the end of the movie, it would have hit more and endeared you to the characters in a way that the movie was lacking. By making them all strangers, I found it hard to really connect with any of them.

The biggest miss in terms of performances, though, is Jared Leto’s villain. I am not sure why they even bothered to get a named actor for this role, as it is so incredibly hidden under the sound mix and voice modification that it doesn’t sound like him at all. Additionally, his character is described as a sadistic horrible person, but he plays the ghostly villain with an almost macabre Joker quality that never is as funny or as creepy as it needs to be. Although it has become commonplace to knock Leto’s performances, I personally have never had a problem with him. When it comes to past performances, he is very hit-or-miss for me; here, it just seems like a miscast character, which is disappointing because the villain plays a major role in both the story and the resolution. 

I think this directly ties into why I was not really drawn in by the story. The strength of Haunted Mansion is Stanfield’s character’s motivation, combined the menace of the villain — why he is invested in finding proof of ghosts and how that ties into his character’s choices. But the majority of the movie doesn’t focus on that, save for a couple moments to set up a choice presented to him at the end by the villain. This causes the remainder of the movie to fall flat. The movie is never interested in making the ghosts become characters in the movie. One thing that does work in the Eddie Murphy version is that there are ghost characters. There are so many examples of characters they could have used from the ride, but they are all treated as ride attractions and background scenery, set pieces to point at like Leo before moving on. I really feel giving some of those characters life and a backstory would have gone a long way to furthering a connection between them and the audience. I am also not a fan of the forced end-of-movie romance that buds between Stanfield and Dawson’s characters, as it really feels like a last-minute note from a producer who doesn’t understand why movies need writers or actors. Overall, it feels like the story structure of the film was chopped up a bit and made by committee. 

Although I felt Haunted Mansion to be a miss, that is not to say that the movie wasn’t entertaining to all. I brought my kids (eight and 10), and they both left the movie excited and satisfied. They really liked so many elements, and found it to be a lot funnier than I did. They also mentioned how they can’t wait to watch it on Disney+ for Halloween. So I guess Disney did their job buying in this key demographic. I am really not sure what it is that I wanted from Haunted Mansion. The natural thought is something akin to Pirates of the Caribbean, but I think in reality, an adventure movie doesn’t lend itself well to family horror. I commend the filmmakers for not going the full-on adventure movie route, and trying something different, but the experiment they went with also didn’t result in a future classic. I can’t recommend you rush out to the theaters to see Haunted Mansion over the other options available, but I wouldn’t discourage you from checking it out once it’s free on streaming. Which is disappointing, because I would have loved to end this review telling you to, “Hurry back, they would like your company…” but instead I am opting for, “Beware, foolish mortals.”

Rating: It’s Just Okay

Haunted Mansion is currently playing in theaters


You can read more from Nick Ferro, and follow him on Twitter and Letterboxd