by Jason Mack, Contributing Writer
On the same weekend the D23 Expo announced a slew of upcoming live-action remakes and prequels from past animated hits, the release of Pinocchio on Disney+ fittingly suffered from remake fatigue. If it were the first of its kind, it might be a passable and even moderately enjoyable experience for the nostalgia, but Pinocchio is a hollow remake of a classic that is not justified by minimal surface level additions.
The worst part of the live action remake fatigue is that I am, and will continue to be, part of the problem. I will continue to criticize the pointless remakes, but I will also continue to watch them even if most fall firmly into the “wait for streaming” category. I hate the idea of them coming after Pixar movies next, but if you stream live-action remakes of Toy Story, Finding Nemo, The Incredibles, Wall-E, or Coco, I’m going to watch.
Aladdin provided a glimmer of hope by making small additions to correct troublesome tropes of the past, and even that is just okay. If Disney could commit to reimagining the classics rather than remaking them, maybe there could be value. At least they are exploring new stories like the Mufasa prequel; but I would still rather see an animated version.
If you have never seen any version, I would highly recommend starting (and probably finishing) with the original 1940 release of Pinocchio, which holds up amazingly well despite being 82 years old and the second animated feature film produced by Disney. It has more charm, more edge, and gorgeous animation.
Pinocchio isn’t all bad, despite being unnecessary. I benefited from seeing a negative review hours before watching the movie. The gift of lowered expectations helped, and hopefully I don’t perpetuate the cycle by raising somebody’s expectations here.
After the rare disappointing performance from Tom Hanks in Elvis, it’s nice to see him back on track here in his portrayal of Geppetto. The movie should have leaned on him more. He isn’t asked to do enough, but he gets across the emotion well in his limited time. One of the rare beneficial additions to the remake is showcasing Geppetto’s motivation based on the loss of his wife and his son. It is mostly expressed in a touching opening song.
Another rare improvement is how the movie shows Geppetto taking time to get to know Pinocchio first, rather than shipping him off to school mere hours after coming to life. It adds some weight to the relationship and some stakes to the conflicts of the movie. It seems irresponsible of Geppetto in the 1940 version. I guess in a world with anthropomorphic fox criminals and boys turning into donkeys, the sudden appearance of a wooden boy is just accepted. Still, maybe try walking your new magical son to school the first day to make sure it works out.
One more touch I enjoyed in the remake was the creativity with Geppetto’s cuckoo clocks. There are faithful recreations of some of the more fun ones from the original movie, and there are also several Disney themed ones with clever mechanics referencing films like Aladdin, Dumbo, The Lion King, Sleeping Beauty, Toy Story,and Who Framed Roger Rabbit?.
That’s about where the compliments end. There are other additions to the movie that could have worked if they weren’t underdeveloped. Cynthia Erivo had great potential as the Blue Fairy, but they went out of their way to feature the character less by writing her out after one brief scene. Kyanne Lamaya is also underutilized as Fabiana, a puppeteer and injured former ballerina who befriends Pinocchio along with help from her marionette Sabina (voiced by Jaquita Ta’le). There was potential to show scenes of the mistreatment she and the other puppeteers face from Stromboli (Giuseppe Battiston), as well as how they break free. Getting only glimpses of her story turns what could have been an intriguing character into an odd addition.
If you are easily grossed out, be warned that on his way to school, Pinocchio spends about half a minute staring at a pile of poop. The base-level toilet humor is lazy and does not work in the slightest. It is one of several times where the humor falls flat, including odd fourth wall breaks and a pun about Chris Pine that is worthy of the largest of eye rolls.
On the flip side, the remake goes too far out of the way to be family friendly, and dilutes its own impact in the process. The Coachman was a much darker character in the original, and added a creepy edge. Even worse, they strip the alcohol and cigars from the Pleasure Island scenes in favor of root beer. It negates the point of showing them being punished for misbehaving. Instead, there are children being turned into donkeys and enslaved as punishment for simply smashing a few clocks.
I could take or leave the new Monstro design. The idea of a giant, murderous whale chasing you down is terrifying enough that the addition of tentacles and razor-sharp teeth felt like overkill. The inclusion of some odd smoke monsters doing the bidding of the Coachman also makes no sense. After diluting some of the stronger storytelling of the original, did they feel the need to recreate the edge another way with monsters?
If you could view Pinocchio in a vacuum without the awareness of the existence of a better original and the fatigue from too many remakes, it would be a flawed but enjoyable experience. However, burdened with these obstacles, it is an unnecessary endeavor. Stick with the original and/or wait until December to see what Guillermo Del Toro’s stop motion version can add to the story.
Score: 4/10
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