by Adam Ritchie, Contributing Writer
‘Tis the season to jump into the time machine and let you all know about my favorite Christmas classic, Gremlins. There are a few directors that seem to have my number, and Joe Dante is near the top of that list, especially because in 1984 he made a film that, despite being a hit at the time, seems to have been lost to the ages. All the seasonal chit chat of everyone’s favorite Christmas classics, I have never once seen Gremlins make a list other than my own.
Instead, people would rather add Die Hard and re-argue about whether it is a Christmas movie or not. It’s not, by the way, so your list is flawed.
I’m sure a large portion of people reading this article are well aware of the film’s existence, but how recent are your familiarities? Because if there was ever a childhood movie you need to revisit, Gremlins HAS to be at the very top of your ‘must watch again’ list.
Out on the road to sell his wacky inventions to unwilling store owners, Randall Peltzer (Hoyt Axton) stumbles across a Chinese antiquities store, and whilst there, he hears the chirps of a creature called Mogwai, the likes of which he has never seen, and insists on buying it as a Christmas gift for his son Billy. The store owner refuses to sell it, but because $200 is a lot of money in 1984, the grandson sells it to Randall in secret, while warning him of three specific and important rules of caring for the Mogwai: Keep him away from bright light, do not get him wet, and never feed him after midnight. In the interests of full disclosure, this last rule has always bugged me because technically, it is always after midnight, and it is never specified what hour you can begin feeding him from. I mean, can he be fed from 1 a.m., or does it have to be at sunrise? We still don’t know.
Mogwai, now named ‘Gizmo’ by Randall, is undoubtedly cute as heck and quickly wins our hearts. The three rules are pretty much instantly put to the test as Billy’s friend Pete (Corey Feldman), who is at least 10 years his junior (this was a frequent ‘80s movie trope), accidentally spills water on Mogwai, who begins to writhe in pain. He begins to multiply with more Mogwai, and then naturally chaos ensues.
Gremlins isn’t always as cutesy and funny as you’d expect from a family Christmas movie, as it has legitimate moments of being a full-blown horror, as well as some really dark character moments, to the point that some of what occurs wouldn’t wash in today’s society. Only ‘80s kids could properly handle this type of mental torture and grow up well-adjusted enough to advance the once cottage industry of therapy into the multi-billion-dollar enterprise it is today. I highly doubt those newfangled “everyone gets a trophy” millennials we have now could cope.
Also starring ‘80s “it” girl Phoebe Cates and executive produced by the ‘80s and ‘90s dream team of Spielberg, Marshall, and Kennedy, Gremlins has fantastic world building moments, and provides tone and mood in spades like The Goonies would the following year. Dante proves adept at handling humor and horror in perfect ratio, much like his subsequent films The ‘Burbs (1989) and Small Soldiers (1998). Going over budget and costing $11 million to make, Gremlins went on to eventually gross over $212 million worldwide.
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