by Samuel Nichols, Contributing Writer
Well. It’s dead. Well and truly dead. You sucked the life out of it, Vampire Academy TV show. I am now completely sick of any vampire-related content. As a matter of fact, I am sick of any fantasy-based academy shows or movies for teenagers. This genre needs to be hit a garlic grenade, stabbed with a stake, and burned down. There is nothing here but clichés and mindless subplots that simultaneously make this show underwritten and overstuffed. If the devil is in the details, you had far too many details for me to care about, Vampire Academy. Now it is time for me to take you to town.
This train wreck is based around a fictional academy for adolescent vampires, St. Vladimir’s. At our favorite fictional school, two types of vampires receive their training: Moroi, which are royal, full-blooded vampires who are trained in magic; and Dhampirs, which are half-vampires trained in combat to protect their Moroi counter parts. Bridging the gap between these two classes of the undead are Rose Hathaway (Sisi Stringer), a promising Dhampir fighter, and Lissa Dragomir (Daniela Nieves), young royalty with a line to the throne of this fictional world. The two have to juggle the normal teenage issues like family, dating, and friendships, while also being on the lookout for the third kind of vampire, the Strigoi. Scouring the night for victims, these undead monsters are the classic image of what we perceive vampires as: mindless bloodsuckers. Rose and Lissa’s friendship is put to the test constantly, as there are power-grabbers and vengeance-seekers all around them who would like nothing more than to take them down.
Now you might think to yourself, that does not sound too bad. Honestly that is because I cut out about a dozen subplots about Lissa’s courtship with multiple suitors; Rose’s animosity towards her mother; Rose’s creepy mentor who is into her, even though she’s a minor and he definitely isn’t; Lissa’s dead brother who was next in line for the throne; some election mumbo-jumbo; and conspiracy theories about the Strigoi monsters. There is just so much plot happening at once that if you look away for a half second, you are going to be left behind. Leaving no room to breathe makes it hard for viewers to stay interested and connected.
Thematically, this is all familiar territory. Every teen fantasy show has to have a long triangle, our main character pursued by multiple strapping potential mates. (Thank you for that, Twilight.) Having a “chosen one” be put in charge of leading people to victory has been around since the New Testament was written, so they are a little late on this one. While I do like the idea of having a class system shown in a world of vampires, more grown up characters would be required so the idea could be fleshed out.
Speaking of characters, this acting ensemble has no standouts or big performances to keep us drawn in. While both Stringer and Nieves do fine as our leads, neither is given much to pull off big swings that would keep us invested. Support wise, almost no one gets enough time to shine. André Dae Kim does seem to have to some idea of what he is doing as Christian Ozera, Lissa’s best suitor. But again, he is one of her suitors. There are too many other characters that get screen time that water down any kind of impact one person could have.
Probably the only praise I would feel about giving this show is for the visual affects and makeup work. Those Strigoi vampires do like unique and terrifying in a throwback way that reminds me of older vampire shows and movies. Mixing the red eyes with the almost corpse-like appearance has a nice affect. The CGI effects used for the vampire and other tricks seem to have taken at least some of the budget, as they look decent for a mid-level show from Peacock. But any positivity they might have is brought down by how poor the fight sequences are. Cutting to different camera angles every half-second makes an audience dizzy and keeps us hard for us to focus on what is happening.
All in all, this is a complete mess for me. Start to finish. My message to the producers, writers, directors, and editors is to go back to school and come back when you have learned something. Because I am not satisfied with the work you showed me here.
Score: 3/10
PS – The movie is way more fun to watch.
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