by John Tillyard, Contributing Writer
Bob Cabana (Jerry Seinfeld) recounts the story of cereal companies Kellogg’s and Post bringing a new type of breakfast product to the shelves. In 1963, Bob’s company, Kellogg’s, might have a monopoly on children’s cereal, but he is worried their rivals may have a new idea that could sink them. With the help of NASA scientist Donna Stankowski (Melissa McCarthy) and Edsel Kellogg III (Jim Gaffigan), they attempt to recreate what they believe rival developer Marjorie Post (Amy Schumer) is working on.
Unfrosted is the latest in a line of product origin stories we’ve been getting over the last year and a half, such as Blackberry, Air, and Tetris. Some of these stories have received criticism for taking a lot of liberties with how close they are to the truth. This one takes that to an entirely new level and, for that reason, makes it very clear from the outset that this is not the true story. There are many events here that either couldn’t happen or clearly would not have happened due to how ridiculous they are. This theme is likely the reason for the framing device of Bob recounting the events to a boy in a diner years later. People often exaggerate things when telling a story to someone, even more so when telling it to a child who will get bored if you don’t keep things exciting and likely won’t question how plausible the story sounds.
You won’t get it here if you are looking for anything other than a basic outline of how Kellogg’s and Post developed these products. First and foremost, Unfrosted is a full-fledged comedy that attempts to add an element of fun and playground-style fighting to the way these two companies compete with one another. A lot of things the people at the companies do are given a breakfast theme; for example, at board meetings, they have cereal boxes and glasses of milk instead of water. There are also many jokes about the time it takes place and a satirical look at the significant historical events of the 60s. They even spoof a few specific events with a breakfast-themed twist.
One aspect of Unfrosted that isn’t a typical feature of these stories is the focus on the rival company as they attempt to develop a similar product. Schumer’s performance as Marjorie channels an unmistakable comic book villain vibe, which generates a compelling character and makes you want to see Post fail despite being a smaller company. It’s interesting to see both sides of a battle for the market, and it’s just a shame it comes in a story that’s not the actual true story.
Which is the central sticking point for why this ultimately doesn’t work. It’s framed around a true story, but everything else shows it’s anything but. What exactly is this? Is it a biopic, a straight-up comedy or a parody? It all appears to be based on a bit Seinfeld did as part of his stand-up where he imagines how Pop-Tarts might have been invented. Usually, that kind of joke works as stand-up because of how the comedian describes it and because you must imagine the bizarre things they describe. The humour is lost when you see the stuff on the screen. Many other jokes don’t land at all. I can’t think of one that stood out as a good gag. The whole feel of the humour was confusing regarding the story’s driving force. Many gags have nothing to do with anything else, making everything feel disjointed and like a series of skits.
One of the most significant moments in these idea stories is when the inventor has their “eureka” moment as the idea first comes to them. There are three moments like this here. The first has nothing to do with the new product and feels like forced fan service; there is an “Oh! They said the thing” moment, and Bob says that is the line that has been missing. The other two, connected to the idea of a new product, are the most ridiculous ways an idea could ever come about, to the point that it’s a farce. That is evidently the gag, but I don’t get what the joke was supposed to be. A bunch of random things happening doesn’t result in humour here; it just comes across as bizarre.
It’s disappointing that the humour falls flat often because there is a stacked cast of comedic actors here. As well as Seinfeld and Schumer, McCarthy gives a decent performance but is let down by the lack of humour in her dialogue. James Marsden and Hugh Grant also have more minor roles that I enjoyed, although, while his character entertained me, Grant’s performance is rather strange and doesn’t fit his role. I couldn’t quite tell what Grant was going for, but in fairness to him, I think he was miscast. There is also a cameo by Peter Dinklage that was utterly mystifying.
Surprisingly, given his long career in TV and film, this is a directorial debut for Seinfeld. From a visual standpoint, he does a good job here. The colourful setting of the cereal factory and the different mascots in full costumes are lovely to look at, even if there is nothing all that funny about what they do. There is a good variety of fun sequences and different locations. While I was never really laughing, I was also never bored, as something new happened in every scene. Seinfeld could have directed an entertainingly funny experience here with a better script.
If used in a better context, such as Seinfeld’s stand-up, there is potential for some good gags here. But mostly, the jokes seem to resort to being incredibly stupid or incredibly random in the hope that at least one of those two elements makes it funny. The title is not amusing, and I’m not sure I understand why they called it Unfrosted. It’s clear what the title means; the product in this story isn’t frosted. But the fact it’s not frosted isn’t suggested to be a significant factor in whether it will succeed. The absence of frosting is only mentioned briefly towards the end. So why is it being unfrosted so pivotal in the story that they made it the title?
Unfrosted certainly has a stacked cast of comedy personalities and many gags. So it’s, therefore, quite baffling how it manages to fail to make you laugh completely. They threw every joke they could think of at the wall here, and nothing stuck. It’s made far worse by the abundance of jokes in every scene, forcing the plot to take a backseat a lot of the time, and the whole experience feels like a lot of nothing. It has a lot going for it visually and a few clever breakfast-related gags or references, but it’s otherwise an unfunny, disjointed mess.
Rating: Low Side of Just Okay
Unfrosted is currently streaming on Netflix
You can read more from John Tillyard, and follow him on Instagram