by Heath Lynch, Contributing Writer
Over the years, we have learned what we should expect from director Guy Ritchie. This is both a good thing and a bad thing. The good is knowing we should be in store for some well-crafted and stylish action mixed with some witty dialogue and, most likely, a catchy, jukebox soundtrack. If there is fun and exuberance to be had, Ritchie will likely deliver.
The bad is knowing that’s all you’re ever gonna get, and that sometimes this style of filmmaking isn’t the best vehicle for the story being told.
Recently, several files were declassified from the British War Department that detailed former Prime Minister Winston Churchill’s secret operations to destabilize the Nazi regime and fight the SS during World War II. One of those missions was regarding a handful of agents who traveled around the coast of Africa to intercept a Nazi ship destined to resupply the German U-Boats patrolling the North Atlantic Ocean. Coincidentally, this mission, and its leader, Major Gus March-Philipps, was Ian Fleming’s inspiration for the infamous Secret Agent 007. Bond, James Bond. I mean, damn, when you read that, of course something like that would be ripe for a feature film adaptation. That’s one helluva solid foundation to build from… I just don’t know if Ritchie’s directorial quirks were the best match.
Because, while The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare is undeniably entertaining, boasting some fun performances and brutal action sequences, its incredibly toothless and tension-free sensibilities rob a decent film of potential greatness.
This flick is packed with spectacle, witty humor, and jazz. That’s awesome! The editing, slow motion, and visceral violence is reminiscent of everything you’ve come to know from Ritchie. If you’re already a fan of his, you should love this outing, as he delivers his aesthetics in spades. If you ever wanted to see Nazis being relentlessly mowed down, this is the movie for you. Whether they’re falling to a wall of silenced gunfire, taking an arrow to the heart, or an ax to the chest, the violence is elevated to 11, and it should bring a smile to many faces.
The cast truly seems to understand the assignment as well. Alan Ritchson looks like the biggest son-of-a-bitch in the world. An unstoppable force that could take on a tank with a bow and arrow, and somehow win. Eiza González is, as the film calls her several times, a vixen, capable of wrapping the characters in the film, as well as the audience itself, around her sultry fingers. Til Schweiger is the most despicable Nazi, picking up just where he left off in Inglourious Basterds, with a little bit of his eccentric SLC Punk vibes mixed in. Rising above the rest, Henry Cavill is fantastic as March-Philipps. His rugged exterior with his over-the-top beard, mixed with his dry line delivery and laissez-faire approach to murder make for an entertaining time. His charisma is off-the-charts. At bare minimum, Cavill looks and acts sexy as all get out. Although he may never be Bond in an official capacity at this point, he at least got to play the inspiration for Bond here. Chalk that up as a win.
There’s plenty to like in The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare. Whether you are getting wrapped up in the cat and mouse game at the Fernando Po Port where all the supplies are being held, or enjoy the witty and comical violence shown as Cavill and his crew assassinate more Nazis than you can count, there’s fun to be had.
However, Ritchie’s stylings seemingly make much of this film feel incredibly hollow.
The problem lies in Ritchie’s natural presentation. His style has evolved over many years and films to, essentially, create big screen superheroes who wield guns instead of superpowers. These are characters seemingly incapable of losing a fight no matter the situation. This works when your film exists in a world of heightened reality — you can set up any rules that you want for your characters. But when your story exists in the real world, as a story about a WWII mission does, well, some elements of the story should remain grounded. But Ritchie can’t bring himself to do that.
As such, nothing is ever a threat to Cavill and his team. There are zero stakes at any point in the movie. At no point is there any risk that someone might die, or that the mission could fail. Hell, there’s not a single member of this team he even gets shot. Not a single time. Bullets fly past them as if there were stormtroopers from Star Wars shooting back at them, while our squad of super soldiers have pitch perfect aim, taking out Nazis with headshots and arrows from over a hundred yards away without breaking a sweat. In fact, there’s one scene in this movie in which a group of four (yes, just four) squad members take on an armored compound of 50 Nazis like it was nothing. Like they were taking out the garbage. It was a scene that evoked the compound raid, dick-measuring contest between Peacemaker and Bloodsport in The Suicide Squad. That’s how effortless it was.
Sure, it made me chuckle, but I was laughing for two reasons. One, because it was visually entertaining. But two, because I knew right then and there that nothing in this film remotely mattered.
That’s a problem. I don’t care how you slice it. A movie needs stakes. It requires tension. And this film, this WWII espionage thriller, has exactly none of it. Especially because it was based on a real mission. Had the film just been another Richie story set in a fictional world, who cares? Do whatever you want. But this story needed a little bit more gravitas, and it falls short on delivering that weight.
I wanted to feel like there was a challenge here. That lives were actually in danger. That this was a risky mission that the entirety of WWII depended on (because that’s what was actually at stake in real life), but I felt none of that. And that’s where Ritchie feels out of place. That’s where I wish this story was in someone else’s hands, so that it could make me care about or feel anything at all outside of laughing at the visual spectacle of Nazis being demolished over and over again.
Cavill being charming and endearing, and the film being an interesting (even if completely inflated by Hollywood) true story about a secret military mission that helped win WWII and inspired the birth of James Bond, is awesome. But I tend to look for a little bit more meat on the bone when it comes to an action spy flick of this nature. In the end I was left a bit deflated by this average romp that could’ve been really great.
Rating: It Was Just Okay
The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare is currently playing in theaters
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