SiftPop

by Jack Grimme, Contributing Writer

Old Guy opens with a slick animated title sequence that perfectly sets the tone for an amusing action-comedy flick starring beloved talents Christoph Waltz and Lucy Liu, alongside the up-and-coming Cooper Hoffman. The intro transitions to a scene of Waltz, as the titular Old Guy, mindlessly dancing in a raving nightclub. The initial atmosphere of the piece is promising. Unfortunately, the film starts at its peak and rides a steady decline of energy throughout the remainder of its runtime.

The plot is a tale as old as the main character: A grizzled veteran is tasked with stoking the career of a promising talent. In this case, the career in question is the art of assassination and fixing. Warring ideologies clash, and bonds are strained, broken, and carefully rebuilt. The fact that this is a slightly unoriginal story could’ve been offset by the actual dynamic on screen. It is interesting to see Waltz as the hardened professional — who is a bit more careful and protective of the innocent — attempt to guide the younger counterpart, who is already callous and cool with casualties. Unfortunately, this nuance of the relationship crumbles under the flimsy dialogue and mediocre chemistry between the onscreen leads.

The script tries to play on the age of the characters, but the dialogue is often nonsensical if met with any critical thought. For example, it is one thing for Hoffman to not know Nancy Reagan, but Waltz missing a Star Wars reference frustrated me. The actor would have been in his early 20 during the original film’s run, so using this to age him just doesn’t make sense. This kind of narrative lives or dies on the banter, but when done unnaturally, it becomes near impossible to recognize the growth of their dynamic as real or rational.

Old Guy also suffers from an all-too-common failure of many mediocre films in this vein. Several times, the audience is explicitly told that the two protagonists are savants in their field — expert killers who defy expectations and conquer insurmountable odds. Aside from one or two moments near the climax, the scenes lack any proof of their competency. This is partially due to the fact that the action sequences are so plain and brief. The sheer idiocy of the opposition also makes it hard to ascribe any victory to the excellence of the leads. The conflict at the heart of the film is never developed enough for Waltz and Hoffman to demonstrate their intellect. Not only does this leave the project feeling dry and uninteresting, but it makes any compliments toward the heroes feel unearned.

This film likely remains unheard of by most audiences. If any research is done, it may serve as a reminder that Lucy Liu is flaunted as the tertiary lead. But her character is so completely squandered that it would be better to forget she exists. She shows up, somberly ponders her relationship with men as an unnecessary C plot, and then inevitably gives in to the advances of Waltz’s Dolinski. Her presence amounts to an Uber driver during the climax to make sure an elderly woman is out of harm’s way. Almost every piece of dialogue directed toward her comments on her “beauty despite her age,” truly reducing her to eye candy in every conceivable way. This was enough to move my reception of the story from bland to borderline offensive.

Unfortunately, Old Guy misses more shots than Danny Dolinski fresh off a hand surgery that exacerbated his arthritis. That reference will go over just about everybody’s heads, because this movie is a challenge to find, even if someone was inclined. Avoiding it would be wise, but based on the marketing, the movie seems to be doing its best to avoid an audience.

Rating: Didn’t Like It

Old Guy is currently playing in theaters

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You can read more from Jack Grimme, and follow him on Instagram and Letterboxd