by Shane Conto, Staff Writer
Who is ready for another attempt at rebooting the G.I. Joe franchise? I am not. I saw Rise of Cobra and thought it was a big dumb movie; I had some fun with it. Retaliation felt like a brash decision to reboot a whole franchise after just one film. Since then, G.I. Joe has disappeared, but nothing can keep a profitable IP down. Paramount really wants to make their money and they still believe that the Joes will make them plenty of money. But will this new origin flick, Snake Eyes, be the resuscitation that this franchise needs?
What does Snake Eyes bring to the table with this new action film?
They decide to take a character… who doesn’t speak… and create a whole film around them starring one of Hollywood’s up-and-coming stars: Henry Golding. Golding has shown that he has charisma to spare in his work in Crazy Rich Asians, Last Christmas, and The Gentlemen, but… he’s a strange choice for a film centered on a silent assassin. Instead of making him the silent character he’s always been, they just decided to completely change the character! In this film, Snake Eyes is a man who is hellbent on vengeance for his father’s death. He makes a connection with Tommy (a.k.a Storm Shadow for those playing the G.I. Joe game at home) who brings him into this ancient ninja clan. But here is the problem: Snake Eyes is a jerk and not really a hero. Honestly, Tommy is the real hero of the story, which the film does not understand. There is a bad taste left in your mouth when you really want to root for the historically villainous Storm Shadow in a film about an iconic hero.
Besides the awkwardness of this power dynamic, can director Robert Schwentke add enough with his direction to make it worthwhile?
Unfortunately, the film’s direction is one of its biggest weaknesses. First off, it is honestly boring most of the way through. How awful is that? Besides the climatic finale, the film moves at a glacial pace without grabbing your attention. An unlikeable Snake Eyes makes it hard to connect in this convoluted narrative. There are so many moving pieces that never really come together in a meaningful or interesting way. Then there is the action. For an action film, you never want the worst aspect to be… well, the action. That is the case, though, for Snake Eyes where all the set pieces (until the finale) are shot so shakily that it legitimately hurt my eyes and filled me with nausea. Thank you for that!
But can the more clearly shot finale make up for the first three fourths of the film?
Only a bit. The action is better. Like, much better. You can see what is going on (in general). That cannot be said about the rest of the film. The highway sequence is exciting (even if excessive and on-the-nose dialogue seeks to railroad it). The rest of the sequence has plenty to offer in combative action, which is worth watching. But those sequences even have their problems. The MacGuffin of the film is used by an evil man who seems completely overpowered… until the script needs it not to be. The logic is so inconsistent in the finale that it made me want to start watching how awkward it gets. When the film finally arrives at the end, the script rushes a bunch of builds to a future G.I. Joe shared the world. But the strangest thing is that Tommy, portrayed with great talent by Andrew Koji, really gets to flex his acting muscles.
Does this overly serious and seemingly unnecessary prequel deserve the time to check it out at the theater?
Not quite. If you are really in need of a new action flick to check out at the theater, this just might scratch that itch. But if you are not that desperate, there are plenty of other places to seek out better written and more engaging action films. Snake Eyes just does not light the spark to reignite this franchise.
Grade: C-