SiftPop

by Alice-Ginevra Micheli, Contributing Writer 

Whenever a movie is in development hell for a significant portion of time, to the point where it is famous for how long the process has taken, there is always a question as to why this is. Are the producers and studio unable to agree with the creative, or is it just pure chaos behind the scenes? Then, when you hear about a project requiring reshoots because of dismal test scores, you start to wonder, are the test scores accurate, or will these reshoots in fact result in a solid film experience?

With a tagline like, “Chaos loves company,” it’s wise to assume that it’s all part of a genius plot that will result in the ultimate team-up film. A process that will see an outcome like James Gunn’s The Suicide Squad instead of the mess that is David Ayer’s Suicide Squad. So in the case of Borderlands, which is the final result?

Adapted from the popular video game franchise, Borderlands follows rough and tough bounty hunter, Lilith (Cate Blanchett), as she is tasked by mega-corporation honcho, Atlas (Edgar Ramirez), to hunt down his kidnapped daughter, Tina (Ariana Greenblatt). Chaos then ensues. 

With other famous names on the cast like Jack Black, Kevin Hart, and Jamie Lee Curtis, and the initial photos that were released from set a few months ago, there was in fact a little hope for fans of the games as this one prepped for release. Well, it’s time to completely crush that hope. 

Borderlands is bad. Monumentally bad. So poor in quality that it rivals this year’s infamous Madame Web as the worst movie of the year. 

From the outset, there is something clearly missing, and that thing is a soul. From the performances, to the direction, to the writing, no care went into the crafting of this story, choosing to lean on what should be witty one-liners, and big explosions instead. 

But the problem is that this doesn’t work for them either. The one-liners are so dry, and clearly taken straight from the game with no thought as to how it would work within the context of the scene. The audience is more likely to roll their eyes than have a positive reaction. More often than not, the explosions are very poor CGI, and too jarring amongst the 15 cuts, to be properly taken in. 

The film’s poor quality is also partly due to its rushed and shallow plot. What should have been at least a trilogy worth of story was only given 100 minutes to get through the introduction of the six main characters and a villain, as well as attempting enough character development to make their final bond make sense, while also getting through a massive world-affecting quest. The execution of this one movie is so poor it’s possible they decided to rush it, knowing they’d only get one chance to get in front of audiences. In this reviewer’s professional opinion, having now seen the film, they should have taken the L on this one and let it become a tax write-off.

Video game adaptations are difficult to make at the best of times. With so much plot happening amongst the grinding and gameplay, they are difficult to translate into a straight-shot storytelling medium. Because of this, Borderlands will likely be slotted amongst the many failed attempts of yore like the original Super Mario Bros. and Uncharted. 

There is also very little to say about the performances, with even Black’s robot, Claptrap, being one of the most annoying characters put to screen, only to be outdone by Greenblatt’s. She is somehow more disappointing, as there was some hope there, given her recent foray in highly-regarded film with Barbie. But for a character who is meant to be the heart of this dastardly band of adventurers, she is so irritating and empty that I was waiting for her to die and take the rest of the characters with her. 

Overall, Borderlands is a film that shouldn’t exist. Bloated, heartless, and a waste of any viewer’s time, there isn’t even enough there to muster a feeling of true hate for it. It’s just a nothing experience. At least Madame Web evoked such emotions of shock that it has potential to enter the so-bad-it’s-good territory in years to come. That is unlikely to happen here, with Eli Roth’s attempt into video game adaptation probably being forgotten by the masses within the next week, if not by tomorrow. 

Rating: Hated It (but not with a passion)

Borderlands is currently playing in theaters

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You can read more from Alice-Ginevra Micheli, and follow her on Instagram and Letterboxd