SiftPop

by Foster Harlfinger, Contributing Writer

Spoiler warning for the entire Planet of the Apes franchise before Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes.

The Planet of the Apes franchise was considered dead for years until Rise of the Planet of the Apes surprised everyone with its game-changing visual effects and compelling central hero, Caesar (Andy Serkis). With the success of the now-concluded Caesar trilogy and the upcoming Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes, it’s time for a Planet of the Apes franchise binge-watch for the ages!

As it stands now, I have seen four Apes films: the Caesar trilogy, which I have not seen in over five years, and the 2001 Burton remake, which I may as well not have seen considering how successfully I have blocked it from my memory. Having never seen the original 1968 film nor any of the 1970s sequels, I look forward to crossing this iconic (and potentially bonkers) franchise off my watchlist.

Planet of the Apes (1968)

The year is 3978. A group of astronauts crash land on an empty planet, a long way away from the home they left in 1972 — or so they think. The initial pacing of Planet of the Apes reminded me of the “Dawn of Man” sequence in 2001: A Space Odyssey: Quiet, patient, and beautiful. The biggest surprise of the film for me was that even by the time Taylor (Charlton Heston) and the others make it to Ape City, the movie never abandons its measured pace. The wonky masks worn by its cast of apes might give the impression of hokey sci-fi schlock from the 1960s, but nothing could be further from the truth. The conversations between Taylor and the native apes as he attempts to convince them of his — and, by extension, humanity’s — intelligence are both thoughtful and thrilling. Couple that with a performance from Heston that is nothing if not committed along with instantly lovable support from Kim Hunter and Roddy McDowall as Dr. Zira and Dr. Cornelius, respectively, and you’ve got one of the greatest sci-fi classics of all time.

Rating: Loved It

Beneath the Planet of the Apes (1970)

As the iconic ending of the original film reveals, the supposed “planet of the apes” is simply an ape-inhabited Earth in the distant future. Even with this newfound knowledge, Beneath the Planet of the Apes inexplicably chooses to retread the events of the original film beat-for-beat for the entire first half of its runtime. Our lead actor, James Franciscus, even looks like Heston, though he could never match Heston’s deeply unhinged looks of confusion or delirious laughter from the original. Thankfully, the second half of Beneath takes a turn for the weird with, you guessed it, an entirely underground civilization of telepaths who worship a nuclear bomb housed in St. Patrick’s Cathedral. If you’ve seen it once, you’ve seen it a thousand times! While the underground segments of Beneath don’t always make for the most accessible viewing experience, they are consistently fascinating and bold, and they mostly make up for the film’s lackluster first half.

Rating: Low Side of Liked It

Escape from the Planet of the Apes (1971)

Well, this was incredible! Despite the previous entry ending with the detonation of a nuclear bomb to wipe out the entire planet, Escape from the Planet of the Apes manages to find a way forward with its clever reversal of the original film’s premise. Here, we follow Cornelius and Zira as an escaped ship lands off the coast of Los Angeles, California. Time traveling messiness aside, this is great storytelling from beginning to end. Escape adds onto the social commentary from the previous two movies, demonstrating the shallowness of the commodified culture of the 1970s. When Cornelius and Zira are introduced to the public, they are shown our appreciation not through earnest attempts at connection but through offering them upscale clothes to wear, fancy meals to taste, notable location tours, and a chance to appear on television. The shallowness of modern society as depicted in Escape only adds to the bond shared between Cornelius and Zira, the best protagonists of the series thus far. Listening to the pair outline the origins of their ape civilization through the first ape to stand up to humans is legitimately chill-inducing given our knowledge of what’s to come with the Caesar trilogy. Escape also has the guts to end on a heartbreaking yet unfortunately realistic note, killing both Cornelius and Zira in the final moments of the film.

Rating: High Side of Liked It

Conquest of the Planet of the Apes – Unrated Version (1972)

It is genuinely unbelievable how good these low-budget Planet of the Apes sequels are. Conquest of the Planet of the Apes is a 1984-adjacent story of ape rebellion. Judging from the reviews, I definitely liked this entry even more than most. Roddy McDowall takes up the role of Caesar, Cornelius and Zira’s now grown-up son from the previous film, and delivers his best performance in the series to date, particularly in his electrifying final monologue. I love a good story of unity through rebellion, and Caesar’s journey to unite the apes against their oppressors is simple but effective. All it takes is Caesar’s first scene as a prisoner, sharing his banana with his fellow ape prisoners, and I am already on board with the inevitable ape uprising to come. It can be easy to criticize the low-budget effects in these Apes sequels, but I can honestly say that they have never bothered me. Maybe I have become desensitized to poor ‘70s and ‘80s special effects from all the trashy horror sequels I’ve watched and loved, but the rubbery ape masks and paint-red blood don’t affect my enjoyment one bit. Notably, I chose to watch the unrated cut of Conquest which features more explicit violence and a considerably darker ending in which Caesar goes full dictator mode, ordering the execution of Governor Breck (Don Murray) and announcing the incoming reign of the planet of the apes. As chilling as this finale was to watch, the studios ultimately opted for a more audience-friendly ending in which Caesar orders the apes to lay down their weapons, instead proposing a world in which apes and humans can live with one another in harmony. I suppose this is the more morally righteous note for our protagonist, but I can’t help but wish that the studio had the guts to pursue Caesar’s more villainous turn.

Rating: High Side of Liked It

Battle for the Planet of the Apes (1973)

Eh, Battle for the Planet of the Apes was all right. There is nothing offensively bad about this entry, but its story is uninspired, to say the least. I would much prefer the mixed-results chaos of Beneath than the boredom I felt watching Battle. On the positive end, McDowell as Caesar remains as compelling a protagonist as ever. Even more so than Heston, Roddy McDowell is this franchise. Seeing the early factions forming between the apes and gorillas is a fascinating perspective — in fact, a civil war between opposing tribes might have made for a more compelling conflict than the ape vs. human battle we were given. Each of the previous Apes entries had a thing. Escape was a reversal of the original film, Conquest was 1984 with apes, and so on. This one is just a battle… for the planet… of the apes… Okay.

Rating: Didn’t Like it

Planet of the Apes (2001)

I don’t hate it! I also don’t particularly love it either, but I’ll take what I can get. Tim Burton’s Planet of the Apes is more a re-imagining than a straight remake, but Mark Walhberg is nonetheless a hilarious replacement for Charlton Heston. It’s a shame this remake’s story is such a bust, because there is a surprising amount to appreciate. First and foremost, Rick Baker’s makeup for the apes is top-tier. This is the only time we get a true attempt at apes constructed with hyper-realistic makeup, and with the exception of the Helena Bonham Carter’s ape’s “can-I-speak-to-the-manager-haircut”, these are the best the apes will ever look until Dawn in 2014. Speaking of the cast, the performances from all the ape actors are genuinely good! Tim Roth and Paul Giamatti are so committed to their roles that you wish they were provided better material. Where the original Planet of the Apes was as intellectually stimulating as it was thrilling, this remake dares to ask the question, “Hey, wouldn’t it be crazy if there was a planet run by a bunch of apes?” Unfortunately, compelling visuals and a fun score from Danny Elfman can’t save this one from its lifeless script and lead performance.

Rating: Didn’t Like It

Rise of the Planet of the Apes (2011)

Rise of the Planet of the Apes is exactly what was needed to inject some life into this long-dead franchise. Serkis is a revelation as Caesar, but you already knew that. Unfortunately, most of Rise chooses to focus on James Franco as Caesar’s guardian, Dr. Will Rodman. Franco’s character is likable enough, aided by an underrated performance from John Lithgow as his ailing father, but the movie picks up considerable steam the second it shifts focus from Rodman to Caesar. From Caesar’s now-iconic “No!” to the Golden Gate Bridge set piece, the last half hour of Rise is some of the most energetic and exciting blockbuster filmmaking you’ll ever see. Occasionally brought down by generic villains and standard action movie plotting, Rise is a mostly good movie elevated by an outstanding third act.

Rating: High Side of Liked It

Dawn of the Planet of the Apes (2014)

Bringing Matt Reeves into the director’s chair was the best decision this franchise ever made. From the chilling close-up on Caesar’s eyes that opens the film, Dawn of the Planet of the Apes is more than just a great Apes movie — it’s a great film, period. Serkis is phenomenal, owning every second of screen time with a performance of alternating subtlety and immense power. The surprise standout of Dawn (aside from franchise MVP Maurice the Orangutan, of course) is Koba, our villain of the film brought to life by the incredible Toby Kebbell. As with all great villains, Koba’s plight is not only one you understand but one you will find yourself agreeing with for the first two acts of the film before his complete turn to darkness. Brilliantly, Koba’s scarred visage is a brutal, physical manifestation of the damage done by “human work,” and it is difficult not to relish when Koba takes advantage of the arrogant humans who consistently underestimate his intelligence. With an underrated lead performance by Jason Clarke, a memorable supporting turn from Gary Oldman who nearly steals the movie in thirty seconds with nothing but an iPad and some tears, and photorealistic CGI that will make you shake your head in disbelief, Dawn is top-to-bottom excellence.

Rating: Loved It

War for the Planet of the Apes (2017)

While not the action-packed sequel most fans were expecting, War for the Planet of the Apes remains one of the best of the franchise with its beautifully measured pace and top-notch direction from Reeves. Apologies to Blade Runner 2049, which is by most accounts a better film, but War was robbed of the Oscar for Best Visual Effects for its truly next-level CGI. The loss of Koba as the trilogy’s central antagonist is felt strongly, as evidenced by the repeated inclusion of his character via Caesar’s hallucinations. Even so, the film pulls off an incredible magic trick with the introduction of Woody Harrelson as “The Colonel” nearly halfway through the film. In this ninth entry of the franchise, Harrelson manages to give one of the best performances of his career and what might be the strongest human performance in the whole series. War continues the trend of providing understandable motivations for each of its central characters, and the scene in which The Colonel outlines his own backstory remains one of the most shocking, compelling, and affecting scenes of the Caesar trilogy. Not quite as unique a story structure as Dawn, the prison-break storyline of War nevertheless makes for an effective and emotionally involving ride. Combine this with Michael Giacchino’s score taking a noticeable step up from Dawn, beautiful cinematography and visual effects work, and a try-not-to-cry-challenge of an ending, War remains a fantastic conclusion to one of most consistently great trilogies around.

Rating: Loved It

Franchise Ranking:

1. Dawn of the Planet of the Apes (2014)
2. War for the Planet of the Apes (2017)
3. Planet of the Apes (1968)
4. Conquest of the Planet of the Apes – Unrated Cut (1972)
5. Escape from the Planet of the Apes (1971)
6. Rise of the Planet of the Apes (2011)
7. Beneath the Planet of the Apes (1970)
8. Planet of the Apes (2001)
9. Battle for the Planet of the Apes (1973)

What an unexpectedly wonderful franchise this turned out to be. Out of the nine currently released Planet of the Apes films, there are at least six certified winners, and even the three lesser entries are not without merit. One can’t help but respect the longevity of this oddball franchise, and if Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes even approaches the greatness of the Caesar trilogy, it would be difficult to complain if 20th Century Studios continued to release new Apes sequels for years to come.

Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes is currently playing in theaters

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