by Robert Bouffard, Editor

I’ll admit that I was pretty high on Green Book when I first saw it. The performances from Mahershala Ali and Viggo Mortensen alone were able to put a rose-colored tint on the screen for me. Director Peter Farrelly made an incredibly safe movie that would appear to the Hallmark-watching crowd, and he happened into a great cast. Time has soured my view on the movie, and now I see it for how simplistic and reductive it is. Its awards recognition is frankly embarrassing. Farrelly, who made his name with comedies like Dumb and Dumber and There’s Something About Mary, now follows up his Oscar-winner with another movie that boomers can really get behind: The Greatest Beer Run Ever

In a not at all surprising turn, Beer Run is even more simplistic than Green Book, and doesn’t have anywhere close to the level of performance to hold it up. It’s like Farrelly knew exactly what it was about Green Book’s story that made it successful (financially and critically; not actually), and doubled down to make something with even less depth and self-awareness.

Beer Run follows Chickie Donohue (Zac Efron), a lazy 1960s delinquent who can’t hold a job, spends every night at the bar, and sleeps until 3:00. He thinks America is the greatest place ever, and that everyone needs to show more support for the troops in Vietnam, and not listen to the media that cherry picks and just reports the bad news (according to him). So in an act of misguided defiance and patriotism, he decides to sneak into Vietnam to give beers to all his local buddies who have gone off to fight.

What’s most perplexing about this film is that by the end, it’s still commending Chickie for his bravery, and for learning a lesson. What he learns basically boils down to, war bad. Even though Chickie knuckleheadedly travels all over Vietnam, is mistaken for a member of the CIA because he’s so dumb, and finds himself in the middle of a firefight during what’s supposed to be a ceasefire, we’re supposed to feel as much sympathy for him as we are for Tony Lip in Green Book

The main question, though, is, who is this movie for? Like, what American doesn’t know now that our country was in the wrong in the Vietnam War? The film ever so slightly deals with the role of the media in reporting on a war, and the film itself feels like it would fit better had it come out 55 years ago. It adds nothing to any conversation or debate on the Vietnam War, let alone war in general. I can almost imagine the pitch for the movie being a guy walking into a meeting room and saying, “Guy learn war bad,” and then getting a standing ovation and all the millions of dollars it took to make the film. 

I just kept thinking to myself, “This can’t be all this is, right?” Chickie is played as an idiot the whole time, but simultaneously, the tone, the music choices, and the presentation tells us that we should be sympathetic towards him, and not dismiss this entire ridiculous endeavor out of hand. It really just feels like the film was made to boost the story of the real person who did this, who’s still alive. But it’s one thing to tell an innocuous story about the wacky antics of some guys like in Tag — it’s another thing entirely when you’re simplifying the huge and complex topic of war.

Russell Crowe’s character — oh yeah, Russell Crowe is in this movie for about 15 minutes — tells Chickie that war is the biggest crime scene possible. Now that’s an interesting topic! They should make a movie about that. Maybe call it The Deer Hunter or Full Metal Jacket or Jarhead. I don’t know. I’m just spitballing here. 

What it really comes down to for The Greatest Beer Run Ever is that some studio execs thought they had a safe and bankable movie idea from the guy who made the safe and bankable Best Picture-winner. But they didn’t realize that a movie about a loser realizing the Viet Song are not equal to the Nazis is extremely ill-advised! Maybe if it had tightened its tone and cut out about 30 minutes and three side plots, The Greatest Beer Run Ever could have been okay. Maybe. But as it stands, it’s just bad. 

Score: 4/10

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