by Samuel Nichols, Contributing Writer
Sports bring people together. Some of my best memories with family and friends are watching big games or going to an arena or stadium to catch our favorite athletes under the bright lights. No matter who you are with, those times breed fellowship that can last a lifetime. The story of a group of lovely older women trying to get into Super Bowl LI no matter what so they can support their hometown quarterback, Tom Brady, is inspiring to me. Too bad the quarterback in question is Brady, and the script for 80 for Brady isn’t as good as the people cast in the movie.
The story follows Lou (Lily Tomlin), Maura (Rita Moreno), Trish (Jane Fonda), and Betty (Sally Field), a group of lifelong friends who come together over a love for Brady. When the New England Patriots make Super Bowl LI, they get tickets to attend the big game! What follows is a wild ride of misadventure for the group. Their bonds are tested, but they always remain on each other’s side as they get closer and closer to getting into the big game!
What carries this flick is the talent of our leading ladies. When you have this many performers with Lead Actress Academy Awards, you don’t have to worry about the talent in front of the camera. Each of them gets an opportunity to remind us of their abilities and show off the charm that endeared us to them in years past. In my personal opinion, there is no standout among the four of them, and that is totally fine. Having them all together or getting standalone scenes is great. I’ll take whatever I can get from them as long as they are on the screen.
But unfortunately, the talent of this group vastly outweighs the script that they are given. One would think that a journey to the Super Bowl would make for a great story, but most of the comedic scenes fall flat because they don’t make a lot of sense for the characters. Lou wins a football passing competition. Betty finds herself in a hot wings contest. Maura really feels sidelined for much of the story aside from a semi-romantic relationship with another resident in her retirement home. The only one of the four who gets a somewhat reasonable story is Trish because she has a flight with retired football player Dan (Harry Hamlin). These situations just don’t seem well matched with the talent on screen.
Speaking of on-screen talent, let me tell you, Brady CANNOT ACT. The man is stiff as a board in his scenes, and his line readings sound like the outtakes for those annoying Hertz commercials you’ve seen him in on TV. My expectations were not high for his acting coming into this, but man, I was still disappointed. Logically, it makes sense that he can’t act. Every single on-camera moment of him where he’s not on a football field seems like he’s an AI trying to mimic human emotion. But I was holding out hope that I was wrong.
On the whole, the rest of this movie is very unremarkable. There are a lot of celebrities who show up and make little to no impact. The supporting cast includes great talents like Billy Porter, Jimmy O. Yang, Glynn Turman, Alex Moffat, Patton Oswalt, and the great Bob Balaban, but none of them get enough time or material to shine. The football scenes are fine themselves, as they are just cuts from the Patriots’ actual Super Bowl win in 2017. I just wish this script had gotten a better treatment with more fun scenarios for our leads. And can someone get Brady an acting coach? He’s retired now! He’s got time!
PS — Joe Montana was never in a crappy movie. But now Tom Brady is, and he’s lost to Eli Manning twice. The GOAT debate is not looking good for TB12.
Score: 4/10
80 for Brady is currently playing in theaters
You can read more from Samuel Nichols, and follow him on Twitter and Letterboxd